Point V

Farewell!

2009-11-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

Hello faithful reader, the A levels are over! And after this post, I won't be posting anymore on this blog. You can continue to read more at the following URL. Please re-link!

www.limesface.wordpress.com

There was a certain sense of nostalgia when I decided to close this blog down for good. After all, I've used it for five years and it's seen me through a whole lot of rubbish in my life. Plus I'm pretty honoured that it has enjoyed more than 100,000 hits, so thank you whoever has been reading devoutly! I appreciate it much.

However, time has come for change, and I realize a site change would be one of the main ways to do it. So there you are! A levels have ended now so I figure I will be posting rather frequently unless I'm caught and stuck away from the computer.

Goodbye, won't be visiting this blog until some time later!

One Week

2009-11-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

It's one more week to the A levels; by any right I shouldn't even be wasting any time here on this blog but browsing through online history articles, wikipedia, and reading some blogs every now and then has allowed me to be struck by another timely epiphany:

It's about one week to an exam, that will determine how much you have developed academically in your past six years - true enough, it'll be crucially important. Because any single mistake or folly that you make at this point of time (e.g. falling sick which is a utterly brilliant mistake that I have honourably committed) will deprive your own performance abilities and shortchange your own results, giving you an inaccurate and painfully unfair measure of how good you are. But apart from benchmarking your academic prowess it doesn't do anything else.

The A levels doesn't benchmark your academic progress, it's your own personal improvement that does. So if any of you are sinking into despair over the countless comparisons that you're making with the high-scorers around in school, please don't fret because ultimately it boils down to how much you've done to keep getting better, rather than how good you've always been. I've always respected the people who have experienced the struggle, more than people who've always had it going for them.

True enough, everyone's going to assess your extent of success for the past 18 years of your life - in the past eighteen years since you were born, these grades are a surrogate for their worth (well, because we aren't earning salaries yet). Hence it's no surprise and wonder why a lot of us are going into frenzies over what's to come and how well they will do. I say, fret not again. Because while the tangibles (like grades, positions, awards, grades, grades and well yes, grades) are the main things which people can and only look to, there's a lot beyond the surface that seriously really counts. Clichéd statement you might say, but in the future it's going to take a lot more than the As on your report card to decide whether you have conquered life, or not.

Behind all that relentless studying, senseless gushing over universities and our chances of getting into them, think about the defining moments where you truly felt you ever learnt something serious about life. Those times where you felt have totally transformed you, and have made you improve as a person, or developed your own individual character in a certain sort of way. I personally believe those times are more crucial than any single groundbreaking research achievement, or any single astounding essay improvement in school, or any personal best on the court or on the track.

Essentially, go ahead and strive, do the best you ever can - but don't forget to be yourself. Never ever let go of your own person and lose yourself in these cold realities. The world doesn't want puppets who chase after targets, the world wants personal heroes who chase after their dreams. And dreams aren't top colleges, or prestigious scholarships, or grand jobs. They are goals which accentuate you further as an individual person and make you proud of who you are.

All the best everyone (: this will all end before we know it.

America or England

2009-10-18T17:10:00.004+08:00

I'm breaking this blogging hiatus just for once because I stumbled across this rather interesting online article. It's pretty late and a rather foolish time to be thinking about one's future, especially during a time like now where we have to slog it out just for these futures to be realized. But, a lot of us will be applying to both US and UK universities - in the case that you get into both countries' colleges and you want to make a final decision, consider this:

UK vs. USA Education System

Updated on Thursday 13 September 2007

Universities and Colleges are reputedly the hallowed halls of intellectual development, the schools of maturation from where the leaders of our world emerge to set the world ablaze with the fruits of intellectualism. However, the produce all vary in flavours according the nature of the curriculum prescribed. The most marked divergence of tastes lie within institutions separated by oceans, and continents. Although the UK and USA share an Anglo-Saxon culture, disparities are marked within ideals of their respective education systems, further being indicative of their particular cultures.

In the USA, no matter if one is enrolled in a state school or a private liberal arts college, it is expected that students will study academic subjects outside their intended field of study. The premise of which is to cultivate a rounded individual, comfortably conversant with all mediums of academic literature, whether of artistic or scientific character. Hence on American campuses you will discover scenarios where historians may be taking courses in astrophysics.

Needless to say such a scenario would not engender smiles on the faces of their British counterparts, who've journeyed through system of education where from an early age specialization has been expected. Thus by the time these students commence their undergraduate training they are only expected to study within their chosen area of study. (This happens to less of a degree in Scottish universities, where students are encouraged to explore topics beyond their major, although in reality students rarely venture beyond their chosen faculty.

These structural differences influence changes within the deliverance of classes. Due to obligation of students to study outside their fields of study the US prescribes a broader, but less in depth of an enquiry of study. Whereas, breadth is shunned in favour of more narrowly focused, but deeper lines of study within British establishments. Each system has its strengths and weaknesses. Critics of British education would point towards the enforced learning of unnecessary information, whereas defenders of the British universities may counter by accusations of dumbing down in college classes. My personal perception, based from studying in two small universities/colleges in the UK and the US, that aside from a divergence between curriculum's, there is a marked difference of ethos between UK and USA higher education institutions.

On American campuses, work is constantly requested from students on a daily basis. In contrast the British university calendar invites extra-intensive work in patches, separated by periods of lulls, thus creating large tracts of downtime between assignments. It this downtime that characterises the British university lifestyle where social life is the veritable engine of UK university life, pushing academia into the passenger seat. In contrast academia takes the fore in America colleges, largely due to structured system in American colleges brought by an emphasis upon teaching. Work is definitely more intensive in American colleges, which is to be expected given that American students pay significantly more than their British counterparts, and hence American students tend to be more motivated than their apathetic British counterparts.

So concluding with my personal endnote of bias, I would have to admit that American Colleges invite more of a rigorous, dynamic intellectually arousing ethos, though at the expense of cultivating an active social scene. The lessons derived within the UK university establishment arise from outside the classroom within the pubs and clubs, where social development rather than intellectual development takes preponderance. Choose your pick!

- By Sunjit "Sunny" Lalli

On a sidenote, I'll probably be leaving this blog shortly after the A levels end. I've been writing on this blog since the start of fourteen, and I think it's a good time to close this site for good just to lock away these memories of a teenage, Rafflesian life. Besides, a new life chapter needs a fresh new place, and a fresh new look. But i'll leave all this new-chapter-mapping to after A levels.

Study hard everyone don't give up! Only a few weeks more!

Restime

2009-08-21T19:53:00.003+08:00

Logic of the day:
If you want to be superhuman,
your efforts must be superhuman.

So therefore, this will be my very first HIATUS;
I won't be back until after the A levels!

THIS IS IT
TAKE THESE TESTS BY THE HORNS,
BRING THEM DOWNNN.

Knock you down

2009-08-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow onwards everything will change, alright!

Delirium

2009-08-15T16:32:00.004+08:00

I'm in school, and the last thing I remembered doing was walking towards the sofa. The next thing I knew, I woke up lying on it an hour later, with a throbbing head and more painfully a sense of lost time.

So now as I scramble around trying to retrieve my bearings and making sense of what's happening around me I shall return here to post yet again. I even feel funnily detached as I type this so it does feel a little creepy.

About a fortnight remains to the second most important exam in our lives. It's just that real, yet so surreal for the fact that I'm not adopting a good sleep pattern + my room still happens to remain the very warzone it was a few weeks ago, with notes and worksheets of all subjects mixed and mashed to form two undefeatable mountain stacks. Everytime I have to search for something important it costs me an entire journey of digging and swimming until I find it - and probably with the other half missing and hiding elusively within the very same stack. It's cost me some time, and it will continue to cost me further time so I shall make sure I FINISH WHATEVER THAT CONCERNS FILING AND ORGANIZING BY THIS WEEKEND, YES REMINDER TO SELF.

Many many worries concerns breathing down my neck, haha I can never really stop worrying. About how math will come back to haunt me, about how history will make my head explode, and about how everything else in between will stupefy me. But yet again it's quite liberating to gradually feel that you have an increasingly clearer idea about what your entire syllabus is about and you start to be able to answer questions quite steadily. Still, time constraints have quite a constricting effect, to the effect of a chokehold on your neck, or something like that yada blah blah.

H3 HISTORY IS DUE SOON. SO GET IT DONE.
Actually everything is due soon - get everything done.
Oh, my god.

I'm still not thinking right hahah.
Okay gameplan, rush and study and keep at it.
Somehow I just want to account for these bouts of deep-sleep dozes.
It feels very horrible to wake up halfway and not know where you are, what you were doing, or perhaps even Who You Are, hahaha OKAY STUDY LA STUDY JONLIM.

Time for some change

2009-07-30T22:15:00.002+08:00

School has been peaceful, but agonizingly boring.

I decided to be a good boy today (in unintentional but utmost support of the nation's social distancing initiatives) and returned home immediately after lessons ended, so that I'd give myself quite a bit of time to start filing up all my notes and stuff because right now they're stressing me out quite badly. It's come to the point where I suddenly think of some set of important notes that were lying around at home and I start to freak out because I have completely no inking of where they really are. I subsequently go home and start flipping around, and start yelling OMG WHERE ON EARTH IS IT I CANNOT FIND IT AT ALL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and after a few hours I give up, thinking I'll find it tomorrow. But yes wonderfully, that never really happens.

But ah yes quite amazingly, I realize I've spent a few hours on a single econs essay and now I'm sitting here wondering where in the world did all that free time go. I seriously don't like this - I just hope that school will stop piling homework on us real soon because force-feeding practice isn't really working on me! I just want my free time and my own free space.

Okay enough about studying, I didn't come here to ramble on about how fantastic prelim / A level preparations are. I think things are changing a whole lot. Over the past week so many small subtle things have happened but yet they all have a certain impact on my future. Like talking to teachers about what I'm going to study after JC, where I wish to go to (pretty interestingly I had this small debate with Ms Ng over US/UK and I found it really helpful), and wondering if I'll ever end up in the places I hope to end up in.

Plus I had an additional commandos vocational assessment the other day and it opened my eyes up to a whole new world where people can actually jump past the standing broad jump mat and do unlimited pullups. Quite crazy but yes it's a possible prospect. I'm honestly quite worried about the commandos results, really could do with a definite verdict so that I'll know what to do and where to go on from here, but oh well uncertainty's always commonplace.

I don't like this blog template anymore, it's growing off me. But I have no time to make a new one. It'll have to wait.

I still miss council!

Be Extraordinary

2009-07-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

I shan't really mention anything about studying past this sentence - it's what we've all been doing and it gets no more interesting as that. From here on it's a hundred-day long struggle to the finish, and all we've got to do is to perfect what we've been doing for probably fourteen whole years of schooling.

Life after June, and after the CTs, has slowed down quite incredibly, but at the same time it's tensing up a lot. I guess I'm contented for my results, and I'm really thankful for what I have right now. It just seems funny, because while it feels comfortable going to school everyday for lessons and studying steadily, these days are also accompanied by a sense of unfounded impatience; I guess I just can't wait to see what's around the corner.

School gets scary at times because people are all going into a frenzy and while you can't help but feel amazed at all this energy and how it's affecting you (either you get driven or you get driven up the wall), there's this little tinge of ugliness in the fact that people are withdrawing into themselves, or into their own circles. Suddenly you don't see familiar faces anymore, or these familiar faces don't recognize you anymore too. But as long as friends are around I guess there's really no cause for concern - they're but another strong reason why I still truly want to come to school!

I find myself reminiscing and missing a lot of things. Like how 09A01C had to go for this really uncomfortable-sounding bellydancing civics module but it eventually turned out to be quite fun - eventually qiwen vanessa and I stayed back at the studio to dance around a bit, and I guess that really completed the day; Well, dance is but one of the things I dearly miss. Places like the council room (which has been sadly locked away to prevent us from catching a dastardly flu), people like old classmates, councillors, friends whom I never knew how I met them, they're all climbing back to me slowly, and it's quite painful to realize that once the A levels are gone, there's so little time to try and retain what you really value and hold close to you. So I've got to simply cherish all the time left, and not let Sloth get the better of me.

In the end, it's your own actions and their consequences that are the supreme judges determining what kind of person you are. No one else can provide a judge as strong - all a matter of choice. Just got to keep going!

One step forward but two steps back

2009-06-22T22:18:00.004+08:00

I'm tired. At this point of time it does seem that I'm really not going to finish all that I have to complete before the CTs start, and this feeling of imminent implosion is rather unsettling.

Gah no way, this isn't over until I say it is.

I've really, really got to make this work, and take back what I've missed, and lost out on. This CT has seriously got to work out. This final week, give everything and anything - no distractions, keep a clear mind, keep a clear purpose. After next week I'll probably find myself again and pick up from there.

To make these pressures, these heights less unforgiving, you have to be unforgiving to yourself. If everyday you have to learn the hard way, so be it. I seem like I'm blowing things out of proportion, but this has never really felt so coldly real.

With all hope and faith.

Omgawdyowch.

2009-06-18T21:44:00.006+08:00

This is warped, but I had a really horrible nightmare yesterday. It wasn't exactly a very scary thing for a dream but the worst part of it was that it could very well happen to me in a few weeks time.

I was in a crowded classroom in the middle of the afternoon with the lights all off but the sunlight and the heat was just pouring in, and I suppose it should be sometime into next term because we were getting all our common test papers back.

(I'm even dreaming about CTs man, beat that.)

Well I don't know what happened to all my other subjects but I only saw my math paper and I didn't see anything but the front page. And all that was distinctly apparent before my very eyes was a 1/100.

I swear, it felt so real my eyes were like popping out even though they were probably closed and not in use in the middle of the night tucked away in my bed. The worst thing was that I was feeling the exact same crushed, hammered and battered-up feeling I got whenever my math results return, so yes it was pretty frightening.

I woke up eventually and realized it was a dream yes, but a pretty bad omen.
Today's math tuition went rather smoothy and I think I put my best into integration, well God knows why!

Haha maybe these are what make holidays interesting. Oh well there's not much time before all the papers start in a little more than a week's time. Make or break.

'Maybe we can run so fast we won't know we've finished till we've run this twice'

One Step At A Time

2009-06-12T12:47:00.002+08:00

No I haven't died - been plodding along well rather, now that all's left for a whole lot of us is to simply buckle down and brace ourselves for half a year's worth of intense preparation. I'm in the school library now typing away after lunch, having realized that I've not posted for nearly an entire month, and plus the library's a little funny today because there are random drillings and hammer-knocks going on throughout the three floors and there're a lot more noisy people sitting around too.

I find it quite weird that I don't have anything to write about lately, but it's the plain truth, and it'll probably remain that way until the year's almost over. Perhaps the best thing that's happened to me all month is that things are really getting more stable and comfortable, so there are no random disturbances or shocks that can throw me off course. Haha my life does seem horribly boring as I go on to describe these few weeks in complete monotones.

But it's really going great, and I can't be more thankful for this steady pace. In the final few weeks of Term 2 I've gotten super desperate about catching up and finishing all my work - right now there are only 17 measly days left to the common tests and it really doesn't seem like there's enough time (such a friendly, yet unfriendly situation we always run into) but all I need to do is to make every possible moment count.

Till the very end I'll keep my good memories near.

One of our first (and last) photos amidst the entire school cohort before announcements. Now it just feels quite funny standing on the parade square for morning assembly after spending an entire year at the podium!

29th Investiture, Rugby Finals, Final Night(s) 1 and 2 were pretty wonderful in ending everything off. As we burnt our initial personal goals away I stood there thinking how long, but yet how painfully short it's been. It totally felt like a point before death where people say your entire life flashes before you - likewise the entire term took on a flashback and well it's had its interesting moments, euphoric times, depressingly bitter periods and lots of random ones too. I will never really forget this part of my life.

Really thankful to have wonderful friends by my side too (: plus HAP II was a pretty fun experience; it was my first time having to plan a day's worth of programmes for kids and it's really quite fun, not to mention that I've not experienced the energy levels of small children in quite a while and having to deal with such excitement was quite refreshing.

Okay it's time to get back to econs. Will post more!

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

2009-05-17T23:12:00.003+08:00

I can't believe it - the final day of council is tomorrow.

It's not even 50 days left like the post I had nearly 50 days ago.
It's tomorrow.

Didn't know how to hold a paintbrush
Didn't think we could achieve much
But when we look back, we've painted a picture so beautiful
Hey that's me and you

Each minute seemed like an hour
Each time we went down together
But when we got up, we grew stronger
More together

From a list of names, to full-fledged 28ths
We've come a long way, we've made the day
We're 94
But as one we're so much more
And i hope we'll keep going on,
To infinity and beyond.

O'tiero, our magic fairytale land
Turned 360 and trash became a golden man
Don't care 'bout my fever, coz today's the day to play
And tonight is our last dance

From a list of names, to full-fledged 28ths
We've come a long way, we've made the day
We're 94
But as one we're so much more
And i hope we'll keep going on,
To infinity and beyond.

We had a fountain of dreams
A calling to lead
To leap from where we are
To someplace we've never gone so far
But now whenever i look back
I see people not events
Then i realised the legacy's just me and you

From a list of names, to full-fledged 28ths
We've come a long way, we've made the day
We're 94
But as one we're so much more
And i hope we'll keep going on,
To infinity and beyond.

28ths together, forever.

Till the sun of life sets, I won't retire to bed

2009-05-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

It's quite funny how everytime I return to this place with full of things in my head to type out, only to face this page with an empty head and blank thought. A lot of times I'm thinking to myself - eh dude it's nearing the second half of the year where all your 16 years of education and 18 years spent on this earth are kind of going to have to pay off, so where's all the results?! Ah well, just got to keep going, keep swimming, keep pulling along till it all ends.

Maybe I've been a bit too blind, out of fear that everything might come crashing down on me, and taking me to task at the end of the year, to the point that I've been gradually shutting out so many things around me. I've made lots and lots of mistakes - more gravely those at the start of this year, where I thought I really should stay out of trouble's way, when I've actually walked straight down this path of stumbling blocks.

Get up, get strong, get back fast, I tell myself, but it requires a whole lot more than just blind grit and headless determination. I realize there's really no point bull-charging into every single challenge and wishing that you'll strike gold when all you've done is probably run into a deceiving piece of red cloth.

There's no point plain wishing for things to fall into place too. What I really need is loads of inner peace, clarity, steadiness, no lack of tenacity - it gets lofty, but it's really simply what's required to make everything turn out right. Appreciate what's around you, cherish these memories, let them make you stronger and a more complete person. At the same time, just don't give up. It's that simple.

All these moments of magic will eventually become nothing but little faint recounts in your memory - and that thought is really quite scary, now.

Press on for what's worth.

Start thinking real hard.

2009-04-27T23:41:00.002+08:00

For a certain notable portion of the day, I was thinking about the perfect expression to describe my current lack of clear sense and sharpness in thought.

Well this is The perfect expression.

Sometimes it really does feel that it's cluttered full of random bits of dust and lots of useless fluff, covering what's essential, covering the truth (if it ever is there!), covering what could possibly set me free, or possibly set me on a path I will least regret.

But yes,
Everyday I try driving these clouds away.

You're too high up

2009-04-26T23:39:00.002+08:00

Twenty to thirty years down the road, if all that's left of my memories of Eighteen and of JC life were limited to a single snapshot, a single frozen moment in time, what would that image be?

It could be the happiest moment of my life, or a moment charged with euphoria and triumph. It could be simple things like (finally) getting math right. It could very well be all these struggles and all the pain in those dreary days of dejection and bleakness, it could be images of whoever I used to hang around with. I wouldn't know, twenty to thirty years from now, what I'd possibly remember.

But I'm going to make sure that I give these memories a reason to stay, and make them stay for the right reasons. I'll make sure that whatever I will possibly recall in the future, I will remember it vividly, and I will know that it's a memory I will never bear to part with, no matter if it's a happy, sad or serious recount.

It does seem a little hard considering that we're all inching towards the second half of the year, the Final half in which we do close to nothing else but lock down and study really, really hard. I forsee leaving a mental scar in my head so deep I will never forget how the Singaporean education system makes you slog, but I guess it's part of who we are!

For the final 3 weeks in council,
for the final half of the year,
for the remaining days and possible lasting moments ahead,
let every minute mark a step towards stability, composure and clarity.
I need this. I will do it.

Use Somebody

2009-04-20T23:54:00.004+08:00

I haven't been posting and I feel horribly stifled by the fact that I haven't been able to, but anyway here's a little advertisement for my humanz friends! Do really consider going and buying these art pieces it sounds interesting :D

YOU are INVITED TO i carry your he(art), Charity Art Auction 2009!
View artworks HERE (:

The Humanities Initiative in Raffles Institution (Junior College) is organizing a Charity Art Auction 2009 to raise funds for our beneficiary. With a total of 18 artworks, of which 13 works contributed by professional Singaporean artists are up for auction, and 5 works by budding student artists are for sale, we sincerely appeal for interested buyers in support of our cause.

Based on the theme of i carry your he(art), from e.e. cummings , the auction and exhibition carry works ranging from Chinese painting to contemporary art. Full proceeds raised will go towards Toa Payoh Care Corner Seniors Activity Centre. Please feel free to contact us at rjhumanzi@gmail.com or call Kai Yan at 98371186 if you are interested in an artwork or have any queries (:

i carry your he(art)
Official Launch: Sat, 25 Apr, 4pm
Auction: Sat, 25 Apr, 5.30pm
Exhibition/Sale: 25-26 Apr
Venue: The Arts House Gallery (1 Old Parliament Lane)
The Humanities Initiative

Begun in 2006, THI is a student initiated programme in Raffles Institution (Junior College) seeking to provide technical and financial support for multiple simultaneous community involvement projects. Headed by a core 7-member team, THI is currently undertaking several projects to raise funds for our beneficiary.

Toa Payoh Care Corner Seniors Activity Centre
Founded in the 1980s, Care Corner strives to meet the needs of families and those requiring social and financial support in Singapore. The Seniors Activity Centre is a community-based drop-in centre, providing services to keep the elderly engaged in activities. Most elderly live alone in one-room flats, requiring financial support and improved facilities. Apart from organizing a series of fund-raising projects, The Humanities Initiative also holds regular block-cleaning sessions for the elderly and help purchase sundry products for the elderly.
Funds raised through the art auction will go a long way in improving the facilities of the Toa Payoh Care Corner Seniors Activity Centre. From previous fund-raising projects, food packages were purchased for distribution amongst the elderly. Other benefits include expanding the activity area for more entertainment activities.

Charity Art Auction
Tying in the visual arts with fund raising, our first art auction aims to promote interest and involvement in the Singapore arts scene for a worthy cause. We also seek to bring greater understanding and empathy for the elderly in Singapore by raising awareness and interest in these social issues, and encourage greater concern for their circumstances.

Thank you very much!

Sincerely,
The Humanities Initiative
http://thehumanitiesinitiative.wordpress.com/
rjhumanzi@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------

Council camp just ended yesterday, concluding the end of all the 28ths' functions.
The end is near, and I think I'm near enough to taste the bitterness of all that withdrawal, but for now there's an overflowing to-do list to complete and lots of work to catch up on! Life's been ok, dealing a fair hand of cards to play with happy moments at every corner, like putting everything back into order, and even simple things like meeting my very own 29th buddy for the first time! Will write more when time allows.

Just keep swimming, keep swimming!

If I may, take this thought and send it your way

2009-04-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I want my days to run like clockwork. Sometimes I want order and control to fill these hours so perfectly to the point that I have no problem meeting deadline after deadline, churning out piece after piece of work. Sometimes I really don't mind these days bearing a heavy routine for the sake of some order in here, no matter at what expense of spontaneity and excitement. But obviously that rarely ever happens on its own, for if life were to be like that then everyone would have it really easy. Who said it was anything far from a struggle?

The difference lies in how much we're willing to give to pursue whatever we want, and sometimes as much as I'd like to think that I would most certainly give my best and my very very best into whatever I task myself with, in reality I never seem to do so. So this is is yet another reminder to myself; keep yourself in check, make sure you know what you're doing (because you haven't been).

Haha cheers to good old blinded detachment and (excessive) youthful ignorance, now you know which path you're on, it's time to get back to the road you originally wanted and set foot on it - remember that every step is one closer to where you want to go, never look back, never turn back.

Things have taken on a dreary lull; notice how these posts of mine have gradually diverted focus away from the things happening around me to constant, annoying but yet required reminders of what needs to remain here and what needs to go. J2 life is really a huge stark difference from J1 life, your whole mentality changes as you brace for this one final challenge in your teenage education which just happens to be around the corner. And wait, the end of it all just happens to be round the corner too.

Everything's ending, I want these endings to end happily - I've got to set them all right then.

For now, these remaining 43 days are built to last.

Raffles Soccer drew 1-1 with VJ Soccer earlier today. It's been almost an entire long year since I last felt so much euphoria from watching a match. Go Raffles :D

We were only kids, and we were best of friends

2009-03-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

When this slide flashed onto the screen during council GM today, reality sank right back into me. It's not even two months worth of a council term left, only 50 whole days to rush out whatever remaining plans I have, 50 days to correct all my blunders, and 50 days to cherish whatever I have left. It's way too short please, it's way too short.

It would seem like a pretty natural thing to feel, but yes I was plagued with huge regret when I sat down and started to think about what I wanted to do which I've not yet done in my council term so far. It wasn't regret stemming from any undone plans or undone projects, or anything of that sort. I just felt like there's so much more to that council family I hoped to have when I first joined council.

If anything, 50 days are Fifty Whole Days, to Set Things Right. I may very well be floating around in my own head chasing clouds and catching stars for the past few months, but if anything, I'm going to make sure I set everything right before it all comes to a close in May.

I'm going to miss things so much I figure, like camouflaging into the council room walls and random stuff like that.

This is it. CTs have ended last week, allowing me a few days' worth of time to breathe and get a little fresh air in the midst of all the madness, and right now I rightfully should spring back into action and give it all I've got. It really all comes down to these remaining months now, before we hibernate into our books come the second half of the year.

I must keep going, and keep at it! Improve improve, stop being less of a person you want to be.

It's like i checked into rehab, baby you're a disease

2009-03-22T21:54:00.003+08:00

Okay, so one week has gone by. In a few hours GP CT will begin and all the papers will slowly trail after. I just want to firmly believe that I've done what I possibly could have done, and just give what I have to offer! Bring it on man cmon bring it on.

Whether I've been running horribly dry on motivation, or whether I've been just too plain tired to let anything get into this dismally small head of mine, or whether these notes and essays show no sign of beginning nor end, I know there're always silver linings out there, moments of small but really satisfying joy, and these little bouts of confidence here and there that bring me back to where I was. I'm thankful for all the people who have studied with me / motivated me / saw me through these rough days / cheered me up! I really appreciate it :D

THIS IS IT. ALL OR NOTHING.

Oh yes plus, now that only four days (although they're really four tough days) stand in between me and momentary post-CT enjoyment, I just can't help but await the upcoming excitements like Fast & Furious 4. This movie is definitely a must-catch omg I really can't wait. GP ECONS HIST MATH LIT and IT'S OVER.

I've always been super excited about fast and super beautiful cars so yes this is one thing I'm definitely going to catch the moment it comes out :D even the trailers are so exciting! What's more in this ultimate chapter of the F&F series they're bringing muscle cars, tuners and exotics altogether. Okay GP is really a few hours away so I should stop thinking about the movie for now.

OKAY ALL THE BEST EVERYONE JUST WHACK THE CTS!

Your defect is a propensity to hate everybody

2009-03-15T22:56:00.001+08:00

It's quite amazing how we dread major examinations like the j2 common tests in one week's time, and we dread the horrible studying, but when the time comes for us to buckle down and really focus, some divine semblance of order just fills our days - at least just for the moment, until the CTs end and the studying euphoria takes a dive again.

Okay I like this semblance of order, and it's high time I really start amassing all fundamental knowledge of what my subjects are actually about before the A levels get too near, so yes I'm thankful, I'm thankful.

Today I studied at the giant Hans outlet again in the middle of Raffles Place - reached there early in the morning and studied till early afternoon when I realized that half the outlet was reserved for this random Silver Hairs' Club gathering from 2pm onwards. In a rather annoyed state I left and found a more secluded spot to study - at which I studied till rather late into the afternoon then I left, rather satisfied. Actually I really don't mind studying and studying everyday like this. Life is peaceful this way!

Okay some proof to prove that I've pretty much alive and aware of what's happening around me:

Mr Kwok's Birthday, Tuesday 10 March: we successfully held off our international history tutorial for close to twenty minutes hahaha, and much to mr kwok's delight too! Apparently it was very much of a great surprise; the other teachers also heard about the epic news in a matter of a few hours. Well, after all the countless lectures, tutorials, civics lessons with all his glamourous ramblings and his famous 'preliminary to thesis statements' I think he deserves everything we gave him :D

09A01C-10A01C Combined Class Party, Thursday 12 March: Honestly I only expected a nice humble angel-mortal letterwriting system between senior and junior class; This was way beyond what I imagined! It all started when we talked to mr kwok about it and he got really excited and he immediately went to ask ms lynette lim (CT of 10A01C) about the exciting prospects of a senior-junior class gathering after one nice civics lesson - so after two weeks of letterwriting it all came down to this :D

I finally officially met my junior class mortal tricia and my angel valerie! Pretty much a surprise for me but I guess not for them because I was really bad at hiding my identity in my letters and so tricia found out after reading a few lines into my first letter. I am Fail. But never mind it was quite happening and I look forward to writing more letters :D

Okay I promised myself stable sleep and 100% focus while awake - so I shall turn in soon. Mugging beckons from across the ocean. EVERYONE (I MEAN J2s) KEEP GOING, THIS IS A LIFE WORTH LIVING.

Who says school isn't fun - I mean, seriously when you walk past the school's main gate one nice dreary evening and you see this:

Off I go!

Throw your punches at this mirror

2009-03-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

Over the past few weeks I managed to squeeze out enough time (or rather, pushed aside a sufficient amount of work) to ask myself all sorts of questions. Simply because there was a need to, judging from how life turns inside out and swallows you whole back in, churning you left, right, over your back, and spits you out, apparently rather Anew but you know you've never been quite the same. These questions have never been rightfully answered, for they always come back begging desperately for more explanations, and I guess I try my best to give myself the best theories and reasons I can offer.

This has been a fairly odd year, haha.

I would like to say that it's been downright disgusting and it's been rough to the bone - but for one, I'd like to be a little more positive; and for another, I'd be blatantly lying if I really said that, for these months have had their joys. If anything, I guess I've grown a lot from these months, more than how much I've grown in the past few years. That's the magic of life I guess; it throws you into the deep end of the pool and by the time you clamber back to the water's edge, you've figured out how to swim.

Recently I realized that I've hit some sort of an artificial midlife crisis; the things that matter most to me have failed in one way or another, allowing these familiar doubts and fears to spill in most uncontrollably. But after today I have decided that I shall not let these shackles and chains take me by the throat; for they're not worth getting tied down for.

Lazy sundays spent outside at unknown places catching up on work in solitude are the best. They're therapeutic and they give you time off but yet let you study quite efficiently. These lazy sundays are like these day-offs from life where you're extracted from your everyday situations and you spend an afternoon free of all these little burdens but yet you come back having achieved a lot more. So I'm thankful.

Though I've said this for more than three times (very regretfully), I will put things into order :D

No Nano makes us sad boys

2009-03-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Last saturday a few of us went for Race To Health 2009, a small bishan amazing race with the sole goal of winning the top prize of four iPod Nanos. Unfortunately we were doomed to be disappointed, haha.

Jonlim Tingzhang Chenyang Hoho! It seemed at first that we were the most probable winners simply because we managed to come together as a team of ex-crossers and ex-trackers, ready to run through the whole afternoon all over bishan, but circumstances proved otherwise ):

Tue! Our very friendly facilitator who tagged along. Poor tue had to run along with us hahah.

This was where we were hanging around the macritchie station after the compulsory 2-hour rest time, where we caught sight of a monitor lizard swimming in the water haha this was my very first time watching one swim, and I swear I was dead tired and bored.

So yes eventually we all died on the floor.

Haha a few hours later the verdict was obvious and it was more obvious that even though we ran everywhere and we played like crazy, we went home with nothing. A rather depressing outcome, but a fun afternoon nevertheless. YO NANO TEAM, SATURDAY WAS THE DAY TO PLAY, NO WORRIES AND THANKS YOU GUYS :D

I have a lot of things running through my mind but this body cries for rest.
But nevertheless, I simply say conviction needs me more than dear remembrance.
Off I go!

Catch you round the corner

2009-02-25T23:49:00.003+08:00

Had quite an awesome afternoon of dance today for Raffles Amplify, albeit the disappointing sound system failure for the initial performance. I think I had a lot of fun :D plus jingyuan's been an awesome performance partner so yes jingyuan thanks so much!

Life is good - proven, too!

This rainbow was actually spanning across the entire campus from RI to RJ, pretty wonderful sight in the evening when I stepped out of the council room after a gruelling 2-hour math catchup session (with my totally awesome buddy) to get some fresh air. I just hope things stay the same way. Have to keep focussed, keep at things I need to do, keep on moving :D

And yes sigh my work needs completing; I'm off!

It feels like tonight

2009-02-22T22:55:00.002+08:00

In the past week, I've learnt more than how much I've learnt for the past three years, and I'm thankful.

It started from a simple driftaway moment in class - well, it was one of the all too familiar times I drifted off in my mind (which is seriously a habit I should kick), but from dreamy thoughts in an attempt to conjure an escapade from the tense pressures of the classroom, there came simple, but huge realizations. Realizations which brought me back into class and made me focus right there and then.

I realized that I was eighteen years old only in age - I wasn't eighteen at heart, and at this time there is really a need to be fully eighteen - no more running around creating messes in the many corners of your life, no more moments where you let time and tide get the better of you. It was a very natural lesson which came to me steadily, and now that it's fully delivered, I will set my mind and heart to do what I need to do.

Every single day has its tough struggles, whether it'd be worrying for your best friend's well-being, trying to survive through lessons and wondering if you'll ever be good enough when the onslaught of the A levels arrive, or even simple but horribly grave things like trying your hand at math for hours and hours but every bit of effort put into those moments never seem to give you back anything. And you subsequently descend into thoughts of your own inherent stupidity and the list just goes on.

But yes enough whining, I should just work on things.
It's about timeee.

Driving away on the streets we knew

2009-02-16T22:49:00.004+08:00

From vanessa's vday note which I received today:

'Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out, or crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life.' - One Tree Hill

Another simple pleasant day :D

You're not the one I believe

2009-02-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

The past week has been a real offroad ride in the mud and back; I shan't elaborate more.

Today was council camp dry run day, as lovely as the day would be, but aside from all the sweat and blood put into it, I'm really thankful for the dry run - as much as it wasn't the most desirable thing we'd do on a day like this, it really reminded me what my purpose was in this two years here and what I needed to live up to.

Delightful moments like these are memorable - 28ths' massage session during a ten-minute break (:

Apart from that,
This week reminded me that I'm still wonderfully - perhaps maybe sadly - that i'm still here in this real world with my two heavy feet planted on the ground. Rational thinking and consistent discipline is of the essence, and unfortunately those days in which we all thought we could run about with our hopes flying high and seeing magic in every single rise of a new day have long gone and will never come back.

I'm convincing myself that it's all planned out in different phases of life, and as time passes and we get older, all we have to do is to go along and experience these very phases for ourselves, as much as sometimes we'd want to dearly hold on with all our might to yesterday; We can't be small kids forever, getting severely distressed over every single thing we fail to have.

So yes, a right path and the right amount of drive is just all that's needed.
It can be done (:

We Sing. We Dance. We Spoil Things.

2009-02-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

I want to reserve a sole single post specially for Song&Dance.

Back then in September, when I had an option to choose a sub-comm which I wanted to join, I immediately picked Song&Dance for I knew for sure that my orientation planning days would certainly be fun-filled if I could dance and sing every day, but I can say, I totally did not expect Song&Dance to take me on a journey this magical, this exciting, this memorable.

It wasn't just merely the dance-filled meeting days and the nice song meetings we've had. It wasn't just merely meeting up a bunch of like-minded people who loved song and loved dance and hence we enjoyed ourselves. It was far beyond that, way beyond just enjoying our subcomm job scope and loving our planning days. It was a story we unfolded together.

At the parade square towards the end of O'Nite, Song&Dance sang our own written batch song for the final time with all the j1s, and when it all ended, we huddled together and we just felt wonderful for that moment - how we did an absolutely perfect spotless job over the past five days of orientation, from pulling off a wonderful o'peners item in secondary school uniforms, to teaching the batch dance and teaching it super perfectly despite time shortages and AV problems, to pulling off a stunning O'Nite final dance performance, to singing the batch song during the finale right there and then.

Hiok didn't have anything to say - but he started crying. And all of us just stood there crying and crying, at the end of one really wonderful wonderful journey which lasted half a year but now it's really all gone and ended. We are SONG AND DANCE 2008-2009. The best subcomm who did a perfect job, who loved each other to bits. We are certainly the best Song&Dance subcomm there ever was in the whole RJ lifetime of orientations every year.

I'm never good with words, I never really am the best person to write appreciation notes and stuff. But I can say for sure, that I will miss Song&Dance really really terribly -
I will miss all the times we walked into the classroom and pushed all the tables to the sides without even saying a word because we knew what to do.

I will miss all the times we spent 2 hours walking from school to J8 to have lunch -
and spending another 2-3 hours at lunch talking and chatting
and ending up with dinner by the time we finished lunch.

I will miss not failing to spend at least 2+ hours every single time we have lunch.

I will miss dressing up in sec sch uniforms and taking photos.

Wasn't it just yesterday
I couldn't find the words to say
To fill the empty silence
To break the awkward moments

A little smile and laughter shared
A friendship sparked because you cared
This path we tread won't be smooth
But together we will pull through

Walking hand in hand, heart to heart, joining voices to sing and dance
When I start this song, you'll sing along, and we can just go on and on and on

When we look back, will we remember
Each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here
Threaten to disappear

All that we have's the present
To cherish while we can
Seizing every chance we're blessed with
And leave with no regrets

Took a firm step in this place
Wishes, hopes, we're in a daze
The cold walls are taunting
Just where's the warmth within?

Whenever you call my name
Across the corridor
The madness of chasing dreams
Doesn't matter anymore

Walking hand in hand, heart to heart, joining voices to sing and dance
When I start this song, you'll sing along, and we can just go on and on and on

When we look back, will we remember
Each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here
Threaten to disappear

All that we have's the present
To cherish while we can
Seizing every chance we're blessed with
And leave with no regrets

Rough winds only bring us higher
Tough fights only make us stronger
Yet knowing we've got one another
We'll stick together more than ever
Yeah...

When we look back, will we remember
Each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here
Threaten to disappear

All that we have's the present
To cherish while we can
Seizing every chance we're blessed with
And leave with no regrets

When we look back, will we remember
Each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here
Threaten to disappear

All that we have's the present
To cherish while we can
All the friends we've made we won't forget
We'll leave with no regrets
This two years no regrets
This two years no regrets.

I love you Song&Dance.
Song&Dance'08-09, forever.

O'tiero Forever

2009-02-08T10:24:00.000+08:00

Having the energy again to restart my daily routines and to put my life back into order, I wouldn't want to start with anything else but to come back here to recollect what has happened over the past week.

O'tiero: Orientation 2009 is over.

Well those five words seem so surreal. It's really quite hard to believe that it's all ended and gone, when you've been spending almost half a year having so much fun planning for it. And the way orientation started, the way orientation unfolded before our every eyes, the way orientation came to a brilliant nostalgic burning end, was way beyond what I had expected. Everything put together was just an awesome week of magic which I couldn't have imagined on my own.

Now as an OGL, the orientation experience is really different but it's really just as, or perhaps even twice as meaningful! I must say, I am very very fortunate to be yet again part of BW08 :D

BW08 2008: T'akbolehtahan! I can never forget those days (:

BW08 2009: O'OHLALA! YOU GUYS ARE MADNESS :D :D
Gabriel Amelia Tingzhang and I couldn't have had a more happening and fun OG to be with. Y'all must know it's really heartwarming for OGLs to find that the J1s in their OG are so enthu and so fun-loving, plus super outgoing and friendly and nice :D It makes everything all worthwhile, and I must say that this whole orientation has been more than worthwhile (:

I won't do orientation justice with my own words. Photos let them talk (:

THANK YOU BW08 O'OHLALA :D
I LOVE Y'ALL!

The stars are holding you tonight

2009-01-26T01:20:00.000+08:00

Today was a rather uneventful day, but I'm rather thankful for its lack of activity! Haven't had so much breathing space in a month.

I spent these very hours pondering over things I'd never have thought about in my recent state of muddle-headedness, and I'm guess I'm a lot clearer about everything. I really appreciate this chinese new year; apart from all the festivities, this short holiday season couldn't have come at a better time, in between all this work and right after an exam :D Plus, I realize this is the very first CNY where I'm actually not ill and I'm all healthy and ready to run about! Quite a good sign (:

With time to burn, I did a lot more sneaker designs - four of which were quite happening, including the grey/red one I did for shiyang! SHIYANG DON'T HATE ME I LOVE YOUR SHOESSSS.

It's 1:18AM now and I'm wondering why on earth isn't dad chasing me off the computer angrily; I realize today is Shou Sui! So essentially I can stay up all the way till daybreak for the longevity for my parents woohoo.

No I'm not doing that. I'm dead beat but yay okay life rocks.

Nothing but the sunlight and no sights

2009-01-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

The SATs eventually turned out okay - It wasn't spectacular, but it wasn't disastrous too, so I'll just sit around and see how things go from here. The entire morning today was actually quite interesting - drinking coffee at a hawker centre near ACJC a few minutes before the reporting time, having a good chat with my dad amidst the general peace of the morning; stepping into the campus and wondering again for the final time what this exam meant and why I am actually taking it; observing the funny antics of anxious students scurrying for their last-minute revisions and preparations. One thing which really amused me was the fact that this random person sitting a few tables away actually propped a big alarm clock and a heavy office sharpener on her desk!

So those four wholesome hours of alternating between math and english eventually passed. The usual question-clarifying and mistake-regretting euphoria soon died down and I found myself travelling for one hour in the bus before reaching J8 and having a very delightful pasta lunch. Slowly went home soon after.

It was at that very point that I decided that I should leave the entire day free to do whatever I wanted and liked to do but haven't gotten the chance to do so for the past month. And I put everything aside - rather blindly - and started to draw and design. I picked up the very nice book yanhan and paul gave me as a birthday present - ART & SOLE: a collection of sneaker designs - and I slowly got inspiration :D

Introducing Exigence - the urgency, the energy haha I seriously feel like starting my own shoe line :D
This is incredibly exciting but for now I've lost all energy to go on and I will hence turn in!

Pointblank

2009-01-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

Point eventually didn't make it into the Take 5 Talentime Finals, but I guess it's really alright - We had a lot of fun from the whole thing, spending hours and hours at the very homely black mirrors slowly working away at our choreo, inching closer and closer to perfection each time we were at it. And here's the final product! I'm glad we pulled it off fine :D

Thank you all who have voted for Point (: we hope we didn't let you down!

These days have been rather alright, pretty much fine with nothing too outrageously disastrous nor blissful - I'm pretty glad it's this way too, I think. Tomorrow will be a day solely dedicated to awesome last-minute prep for SATs on saturday and I just sincerely hope that by some stroke of luck I will be able to get less questions wrong and secure a decent score. That's all I simply wish for.

Before I left for home from the council room today I took a second, third, fourth look at the whiteboard and I realized how much those quotes made me feel. Haha shiyang rocks; he found them all on a website and he's spreading it to the world.

Now all that stands between me and a beautiful undisturbed day,
is finding my lost GC.
I'm really in deep trouble gah.

Make your Point!

2009-01-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

CALLING ALL J1s AND J2s!

If you're free tomorrow on a nice wednesday afternoon, do drop by the canteen at 2.45pm to catch Point's performance for Take 5 Talentime semi-finals! We are a group of five; we define our own skies; we won't disappoint :D

Do give Point your vote for the Open Category Finals, tomorrow :D
See you there!

Prescription: Take Once Per Day

2009-01-20T00:46:00.001+08:00

It's been a long while since I last posted - the past few weeks have gone by in an awesome flurry, and I guess what I want to say is that I wouldn't have lived these past few weeks any other way but exactly the way they turned out to be!

From start of january all the way till now, it has been nothing short of a complete Mad Rush; but even within the blindness of this pace we're all going at, I've managed to find in between, many little things to feel absolutely contented and happy for, and I really feel that I'm a very fortunate boy :D

Days and days pass by, and every single dusk signals a new sunrise in yet again another few hours; with every single day I undyingly ponder about my doubts and fears and feel that they may somehow never be addressed with justice, but yet there are those moments which bring to me sufficient (or perhaps even overwhelming) reason to feel that I'm not in any way unfortunate or unblessed - these are challenges which life deals me, and the whole point of the story is I'm slowly pulling things through, making things work; in the process I get stronger undeniably.

Yet so many thoughts pass through again and again - it does seem like these mental explorations are here to stay, well I'll let them stay. Dealing with them is the right thing to do!

Photos of life in general; as seen, life is really really happening! :D

Open house was a pretty fun day - including a very frightening moment where nabil asked me to do a last-minute performance where I totally blanked out and started trying to remember what I had to do. Eventually things worked out quite well and I must say it made my day, that it actually all worked out well :D

Homecoming - one fine day we were putting up all the super professional homecoming posters around the school and I decided to throw my stationery and tape all over the above photo! AND GUESS WHAT HAHA IT LOOKS LIKE MR LEONG IS FIGHTING FOR STATIONERY :D

I've told my friends so many times but I think I can never say it enough: Eighteen was really a wonderful memory (: Spending the day with council and with close friends just made every single thing worth it. Eighteen reaffirmed for me who my closest friends were and just how much I ought to cherish them for all the things they've done, be it smart or silly, brave or foolish, warm or funny :D

Thank you every single one of you who've made me just so happy that day - especially tingzhang and buddy, you two are the best of the best in the whole wide world :D

Haha the big mess we created at NewYorkNewYork@AMK - eventually I had whipped cream all over my face and hair and we really ruined our seats and stuff so it was quite funny yet horribly embarrassing! I won't forget this at least for the next few long years :D

The black mirrors have been my late-night home lately for that 3-4 hours every single weekday evening, due to practices for talentime - EVERYONE PLEASE VOTE FOR POINT THIS WEDNESDAY, TAKE 5 SEMIFINALS. YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED :D

Okay. Now I really need some rest!

Certainty

2009-01-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

Today we had a farewell party for the 27ths - the past two days' worth of preparation was quite worth it; everyone had a lot of light-hearted free time to kick back and relax, plus catch up with people they haven't been in touch with, and most importantly they had a lot of fun :D

One unique thing about the farewell was fortune balloons. Over the past two days I got fortune cookie messages from everywhere and wrote 130 different fortunes each on a slip of paper. These slips of paper were then put into balloons and stuck on the wall. Tonight, anyone could just walk over, pop a balloon of their choice and obtain their fortune.

It so happened that whilst preparing the fortune balloons and blowing them up, I accidentally stepped on a balloon. It was in every sense, my first popped balloon, so it was my rightfully deserved fortune! I unrolled my fortune and read it, thinking that it couldn't be much since it was one of the 130 that I wrote Myself anyway.

It read, "Be a man. Do the right thing."
Yes the fortunes were all quite humourous.
But eventually after the farewell I realized for myself that it was really something I ought to follow.
It does make a lot of sense.

And I will follow it, for the sake of better and brighter days ahead (:

Beautiful's synonym is you.

2009-01-01T23:36:00.002+08:00

If there was anything to say about this fine new year's day, it was a day well spent in conversation and in thought (:

I will make this year great, fill my life with colour, energy and lots of thoughts, love and memories!

To a better, stronger year (: This is it!

Council Retreat

2008-12-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

Council retreat ended today, and a few hours ago we returned from Batam back to familiar shores, but as a stronger council.

The retreat came to me in the form of many Realizations. It seemed very much like a three-day getaway at first, but now I'm really just so glad that retreat has happened and things have gone this certain way. Apart from the packed programme and really insanely crazy activities which we managed to plan for, this retreat gave me my own time to admit to myself very honestly how I've been this entire year and what I did right / did wrong. I gave myself a chance to tackle my own shortcomings upfront, leaving myself no leeway to cast them aside for the future. And I'm glad that I had such a chance and I did what I was supposed to do - or rather, supposed to have done.

It has been a tough (yet really really fun) two and a half days, surviving on 4 hours of sleep over two nights and running about on the sand in the sun, but I'm just glad I had the chance. I realized that it was quite pointless to question my frequent doubts about my own passion for council, for I've had it within myself all along. All I simply needed was a bit more conviction, a bit more steadiness and a bit more determination. I truly, really, realized that all the friends that I've been in search of have always been by my side, and they couldn't be any closer.

There we were, on the beach past midnight, feeling the sea breeze and feeling the memories, and I realized that life will always be eager to provide us with an unlimited supply of problems and obstacles, but it's simply and exactly the thing that makes life beautiful.

And it was only during these three days that I realized how fragile and neglected these friendships were. We all came in together with one year's worth of things to do, and little did I realize before that Seven Whole Months have indeed gone by, only five remain. If I'm not going to cherish all these little magical moments and chances, I'm really going to regret it horribly, for these memories and happening people are all that I will have left, after our council term ends.

I got the chance to burn my regrets for this year away in a fire, and I got the chance to have my new year wishes kept in a glass bottle and thrown into the open sea for it to reach the shores someday; I couldn't have asked for more. It was a tough time thinking about what wishes I would like to make for the new year - there were so many things I hoped for, so many things I wanted to do, but ultimately I made my own true wish and I'm glad that I've made it: I ask not for a lighter load, but for a stronger back.

Ahhhhhhhhhh I never want this to end. It's really so wonderful.

Anyway, it's 10.14pm now! Less than two hours before this year passes by and 2009 begins; it's going way too fast, seriously. This morning I woke up in Batam after a 2-hour rest, and upon the realization that this day was The Last Day Of The Year, it came down on me quite hard and I was freaking out in my mind, because I was just not ready to welcome the new year into my life. There's simply so much I need to complete before 2008 comes to a real close.

But there's no need to worry. It will be a good year no matter what. And I will be stronger!

Happy new year everyone (:

iPodisaster Again

2008-12-29T06:11:00.003+08:00

Haha good morning!
Last night my iPod died.

I was trying to upgrade its software to 2.2 and halfway through the installation process it wiped out, taking with it nearly six hundred songs - properly named, labelled and album art attached - as well as three thousand photos and a bunch of fun videos.

I nearly thought I wasted USD10 trying to upgrade the software, then I thought again.
MAYBE USD10 DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF I CAN'T SWITCH ON MY IPOD AT ALL

So after a hour of resuscitation I finally got it working. Thank goodness the software did indeed upgrade itself! But upon seeing this on my screen I realized something was really amiss: (click to enlarge)

In the end my worst fears were confirmed! I'm going to bring an iPod to Batam which has absolutely nothing but this nice screen which just tells me that I have no wonderful playlist to look forward to in 2009, ugh.

Never mind, new year new playlist! :D
IT'S A NICE MORNING AND I'M OFF TO BATAM NOW, BE BACK ON THE 31ST!
I LOVE COUNCILLLLL.

Explorations

2008-12-28T15:27:00.000+08:00

I have a thing for lazy sundays. On other days of the week I'd feel incredibly useless if I'm just sitting there doing nothing, but on sundays it's a different story; I just feel at peace letting the hours crawl by.

But anyway today's not exactly a zero-activity day. I've spent the past few hours reading up online about university courses and overseas universities and once again, I'm horribly spoilt for choice and I'm more confused now than when I first started reading up this afternoon. It's very early yes and I'm one year away from my A levels but who knows I may have a stronger focus and more determination to study really hard this coming year if I know Exactly where I'm going!

One year ago, I forced myself to decide what I really wanted to do in the future, for I switched from a pure triple science combination in RI to a pure arts combi in RJ. I decided that no matter what I'm going to study, I was definitely not going into any science-related career - plus the sciences have drained me dry. English and social studies then was a really interesting thing to me and I thought, hey perhaps in sec2 I made a mistake and I'm really regretting this, I don't want to regret this anymore. I went to speak to teachers from all the humans departments and eventually I switched from a standard BCME to a HELM over the course of a few days. Perhaps it was a good thing that I had to think early, out of necessity!

So yes, I do know what I want to do, but the problem is Where, and more importantly, How.

This world is waaaaay too big. There're too many universities, too many education systems (there're too many people applying for these schools so it makes things a lot tougher too, oh the irony). Given the typical RJ mentality it's probably a US/UK thing but I guess it really is much more than just any random school in either of the two countries!

University makes a whole difference I guess; this time I'm not studying for my own good like from primary school, to secondary school and then to JC, but this time I'll be studying for society's sake. I can't imagine myself taking the path of an intellectual but rather I think I want to study something which in turn helps me live a life. So I really have to remember that.

But ultimately, apart from all these lessons courses and confusing systems, what do I really want?

I could open an ice-cream shop hahah :D
TINGZHANG MAYBE YOU HAVE A BUSINESS PARTNER.

Okay back to reading.

Never felt so good to be so wrong

2008-12-25T20:47:00.001+08:00

The past five days spent in malaysia were cool - it wasn't amazingly refreshing or anything, nor were the sights and sounds any form of dazzlement which could ever replace the waseda memories a week ago, but in retrospect, this holiday gave me a level of detachment i didn't have, even in japan; it was a quiet detachment, away from people (funny I should be saying that when half the time I was walking in the middle of huge crowds but yes) and away from things.

I went to malaysia thinking that this was just another simple getaway, spending a few days in the blindness of the moment for all that's worth, and then returning back home, but it allowed me loads of time to think in my own free space, and whether it was for the better or worse, it doesn't really matter - in the end I guess I am a lot clearer!

And before anything else, Merry Christmas everyone! may blessings and joy surround you not just this season, but forevermore.

Random things which have made this five-day holiday interesting include giant christmas trees, lots of coffee (Starbucks especially!), and calm breezes and quiet airs. I'll just let the photos talk again haha the long waseda post has worn me out.

One giant tree at Times Square, an even larger one at KLCC. I think there were many christmas trees at Genting but it didn't occur to me that I should snap any I suppose!

One nice cup of piping hot Toffee Nut Latte.

Another nice cup of piping hot Toffee Nut Latte, this time with whipped cream!

Starbucks is the Lifeeeeee

I went to KL and Genting, and over these five days it seemed to have been some side-quest of mine to go on a Starbucks spree - true enough I've visited about 7 outlets across KL and Genting, visiting some outlets as much as three times (of course, the one at the hotel lobby!) and I've had a total of 6 cups of Toffee Nut Latte, while tapping on wondrous wi-fi and emailing people I could think of. Tingzhang's been tolerating my random rubbish mails :D

Tingzhang if you're reading, dig this: you'll never find a larger golden man anywhere!

Okay I'm really getting worn out by posting - other sights and sounds, along the KL waterways:

Now now, back to good old work!

WASEDA! (cont'd)

2008-12-25T18:31:00.001+08:00

Time to continue on the waseda recount! Typing this five days later has got me feeling super lazy but chances are I'm going to regret it if I visit this blog twenty years down the road and realize that I had nothing to talk about my one and only overseas school trip so yes here goes!

Aiyah it's really too long a recount I'll keep it short - talking with photos makes it so much easier!

Somehow singapore seems to be the only country I've seen so far with a dirty coastline! Japan has a much cleaner one!

Essentially the second day was all about visiting Kamakura High School and going on a little shopping tour around Kamakura with their students, exciting much!

My tour group! Along with the student tour guides :D

Their trains are interesting - everyone's so considerate, we are strongly encouraged not to talk on our phones while in the train, just to preserve that bit of quietness it's quite cool!

Walking around in Kamakura with homemade gelato icecream in one hand, this eagle here swooped down and stole yisheng's icecream, leaving him in a bit of shock. It then sat perched on top of this pole waiting silently for the rest of us to fall prey - haha we left quite quickly!

I could vaguely remember the name of this shopping street in Kamakura five days ago before I left for msia, but I clean forgot - it's a pretty cool place with lots of small shops and eateries!

Watching the evening sky from the top of a shrine we visited, at 5pm!

Gabby! tackling the shelves of Lawson's (equivalent to our 7-Elevens) while the rest of us rummaged through the place for food to eat in our rooms at night.

Day three started with japanese lessons! Followed by a tour around waseda university :D

After an entire afternoon of lectures we then proceeded on a three-hour bus ride up north japan to Nagano prefecture! At which we stayed at a hostel in Sugadaira which was up high on a mountain!

HAHA some of us got lucky and had this really huge double-storey hostel room :D

I didn't take photos at night, but at 1am it started to snow, and apart from all that scolding we got for screaming down the corridors of the hostel and into the black starry open, it was really really magical and fascinating to feel cold bits of snow fall on your face for the first time in your entire life. We watched the plains turn from green to white, and it really didn't matter that we were running about outdoors with a room temperature of -5 degs in t-shirts, shorts and slippers :D

I woke up on Day Four like it was a dream - or rather it was a moment that fulfilled my childhood dream, because the moment I got up from bed I couldn't fail to notice a sea of white outside the window!

Now this entire day was HEAVEN HAHA for we spent it solely on shopping, and nothing else but shopping! At Karuizawa shopping mall which is this really big mall containing loads of factory outlets and is about five times the size of Vivocity at least.

In Karuizawa I saw shoe haven. A GIANT NIKE STOREEEE

I think I must've spent nearly two hours there trying to decide if I should get myself a pair of sneakers! For there were designs that singapore will never have, and plus most of the shoes were going at half the price! In the end I decided on a pair of Nike Air Zoom Oncores, which were going at like SGD$60, A TOTAL STEAL :D

Walking past snow-covered vehicles (which was a really funny first sight), we proceeded to have Omu for lunch!

After a briefing session on skiing in the evening, we took the rest of the night to clown around and to have our moments of free time!

Observe this ladder which allows me to climb to the top on the bunk to sleep.
Now when I move this ladder away from the bunk and I place it at the railings on the second floor, I get...

A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN HAHAHA :D

I can't believe we actually really studied for two nights that we were at Sugadaira haha but yes we did, seriously!

Day five was The highlight of the entire trip - SKIING YAY.

Ski Group 1! Haha I actually got the chance to ski from quite a high point up the mountain all the way to the foot unassisted - it was really the most fun thing ever! At the top of the mountain I totally had no idea how to ski down without falling or tumbling but in the end the route down just came to me very spontaneously and it really felt great skidding to a stop at the end. Climbing the mountain is tiring though - climbing it on foot is enough to leave us all breathless, but haha climbing the snow-filled slope with ski blades on takes fatigue to a new level. Every one of the three times I ran all the way to the top, I had simply no more energy to do anything else but lie flat on the slope for five minutes or so - I think everyone felt the same :D

The skiing wasn't the only best thing - the really spontaneous snowball fight which started after lunch was fun at its best :D

At some point of time titus declared an Inter-School A Division Snowball Fight Competition against the other schools and there we were, spending an entire hour building our barracks, making snowballs (some were three times the size of our heads hahaha) and bombing them away! Some teachers eventually joined in as well hahah it was craaazy!

The closing ceremony for the programme took place at night - lots of performances were put up by all the different schools, and we pulled ours off pretty well too :D There was also a bingo game in which the top prize of 50,000 yen (SGD$800 goodnessssssss) was given out! I wasn't That lucky but I was lucky still, won some stuff :D

Gift exchange! That was day five, very few days left ):

On Day six we left Sugadaira, and visited the Zenkoji temple. I now know the difference between shrines and temples in japan - they all sound the same, but praying is done differently in shrines and temples! In a shrine you'll have to call the gods to answer your prayers so you'll have to bow and clap twice before you make your prayer. In a temple, the gods are there, so you'll just have to bow and pray. Interesting much!

We made our own Soba noodles for our own lunch, and left Nagano for tokyo soon after. The bus rides eat a huge lot of our time in japan away, sadly, but they were really good sleep opportunities, considering we all didn't sleep much at night throughout the entire trip haha.

We had Monjayaki for dinner! And visited the Tokyo tower soon after :D

And that was it - day seven was simply a plane ride home, and a lot of painful goodbyes.

I really miss japan, I say again. It was only a week but it could very well be my most enjoyable week ever this year!

I MISS ALL YOU WASEDA FRIENDSSSS.
(in japanese, 'friend' is Tomodachi! sounds like Tamagotchi but I realize 'tamago' actually means egg. and the 'tchi' at the back is a plain nonsensical word)

I'M FINALLY DONE POSTING, yay phew.
NOW ON TO MALAYSIA!

WASEDA!

2008-12-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK! :D

A few days ago haha. Didn't really have the energy to churn out a long recount of the past week; but nevertheless my very first (and most probably very last) overseas school trip couldn't have been a better one! It couldn't have arrived at a better time too, when the past few weeks have been a total mad rush and what I really needed was some fresh air and lots of time to hang around and get a good grip on things. Seven days spent in Japan was more than enough :D

Here I sit in this good old room feeling the heavy withdrawal from the trip - in those seven days, I had the chance to forget nearly everything, and just embrace the present and its bliss, just watching the tokyo cars drive by at funnily slow speeds (most of Japan's smaller roads have a speed limit of only 40km/h), feeling the cold winds flow by my face, even being able to catch the beautiful sight of the Nagano plains turning from green to white when snow started falling!

Now that I'm back here in Singapore it does really feel different; cold hard reality is sinking in, trying to wrestle with these wonderful memories and all that's left of me today is a lazy boy lolling around the couch and the bed at home trying to make sense of whatever's been happening and what I have missed. I have to spring back into action soon, real soon.

But until then, the past week:
Waseda University SILS Fall Programme 2008

I think the good memories all started right at the airport when we were getting ready to leave for Japan, for there were many many friends which came to see us off. Haha I've never had friends see me off from the airport before, and it was really a wonderful feeling :D Especially tingzhang who came running into the airport with carrot cake in one hand for his uneaten dinner. I've not forgotten all you people I've got lots of gifts from Japan okay :D

A big portion of song&dance was there! Including mingzhe who came to send us off too :D

And a few moments later, we took off from Changi Airport at midnight, into the starry sky (the Nippon Airways plane had a video feed of the plane's takeoff and landing so we could actually see what was happening upfront, and the sky then was full of stars). From then onwards I think I really put a lot behind me; I felt a lot less heavyminded and things felt a lot different. Then on, I had all the time I wanted (throughout that one week) to enjoy true-hearted conversations, to get to know lots of people and get to find new friends, to experience Japan.

After a great deal of talking, photoboothing on Isabella's mac, and very little sleep, it was morning! I was sitting on the left side of the plane away from the sunrise so the sky tones were milder, sadly.

My first glimpse of Japan a few moments later took the form of vast lands; the contrast from Singapore was very very stark!

We landed at Narita airport soon after and the moment I stepped out of the airport doors, the cold winter wind met my face and I was totally cheered up immediately haha it's been nearly ten years since I faced winter conditions and it was really wonderful! All of us started breathing out deeply out of fascination of the smoke puffing out of our mouths :D There and then we boarded a bus which took us to our hotel to leave our luggage there.

The trip along the way was pretty exciting - first sights of Japan were really amazing. I think I was overwhelmingly delighted for the fact that I've not really visited a new country in many many years and this was a wonderful chance which I had to visit Japan! Tokyo city is after all a giant city which doesn't sound any different from Singapore but its city feel gives off an entirely different feel, and I guess the unfamiliarity of the place really helps!

After reaching Rihga Royal Hotel, we left our luggage there and proceeded to Waseda University! At first sight was the clocktower, a key feature of the school. Haha how come every single school has a memorable clocktower. I'll never forget RI's clocktower, but it simply pales in comparison to this one!

After a short introduction at the Okuma auditorium, I had my first meal in Japan, at the Waseda University Cafeteria :D

It doesn't look much but it sure was rather nice! And they had a special name for this meal which I very sadly forgot - something like an Okuma lunch set or something. Plus the drinks were cool, you can actually get green tea (Ocha in japanese!) dispensed from a machine along with hot and cold water; it's like their staple drink!

After lunch we had a rather spectacular performance presented to us, by the Waseda University cheerleading team! And this was cheerleading like we've never seen before, amazingly different from the standard singaporean / american cheerleading styles.

Facebook has a couple of videos of the waseda cheerleaders :D Go take a look sometime! It was really unique; this was where the guy cheerleaders actually played a more major part in cheerleading in contrast to the dominance of girl cheerleaders. And they were pretty aggressive. Apart from that, it was really quite fascinating - it was as if they just jumped straight out of a book of manga or from an anime series hahaha!

After a few more cheerleading performances, and one SILS model lecture after, we went for more sightseeing!

I love them japanese taxis, their patterns / colours are crazy!

Soon we reached the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs and had a conference with the Vice-Minister of Foreign Affairs, Minorikawa-san. He really looked like a serious guy with real business but in fact it was quite funny when it turned out that he really had a sense of humour and got us laughing quite a bit. I like ministers like him! Fun people :D It was quite a memorable government experience.

Later that evening it turned dark at 5.30pm, quite a shocking thing considering it never gets dark in Singapore anytime before 7.30pm! And we went to Aqua City in Odaiba, where we got to try the best-tasting ramen ever. Apparently they gathered 6 master ramen chefs together in Aqua City to sell their ramen, and we had a chance to visit one of the 6 restaurants (which were side by side in a small enclosed area; talk about intense competition). I had a bowl of Tokufuku ramen (or something like that) which fulfilled my dream of having a piping hot bowl of ramen in the cold of the winter :D

You actually can order ramen via a vending machine!!

We then returned to the hotel after some souvenir-shopping, and stayed up till pretty late doing lots of fun stuff.
OKAY I NEED TO GET OFF THE COMPUTER ALREADY BUT I'M ONLY DONE WITH DAY ONE OF WASEDA ):
Plus I'll be going to Malaysia later today too, for a week!
Will be posting as much as I can :D

I really miss Japan.

Sweet dreams are made of these

2008-12-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

On my way home yesterday after a stifling stale-aired (and rather futile) studying session at the library, this really really nice pencil box caught my eye! The bright red one which I currently had was seriously too big, a big dawning after one entire year yes, and considering that I had leftover savings for chunkfest, I got it :D

GREEN BLACK WHITE RAFFLES ALL THE WAY :D

In about 4 hours I'll be flying away to Waseda this is really exciting! My first ever (and probably last) overseas school trip I seriously can't wait any longer. Friends if you want any mementos from Japan drop me an sms!

TILL THEN, SAYONARA SHINGAPORU!

We were both young when i first saw you

2008-12-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

I owe this place yet another post! Been very detached from everywhere lately and it took me quite a while to peer through the clouds which have been forming around my head and realize that it's quite point-blank clear that everything is pretty much, well in order.

THE LAST TIME I POSTED WAS IN NOVEMBER! And I say, december is a weird month. Right from the moment it started, the atmosphere has taken an extreme change, most distinctly in school where the corridors and tables all suddenly become devoid of voices and noises, and all that's left is the lonely empty air and cold rainy wind. It's a very different holiday season; back then in june, september and november it was always a bustling busy holiday and this is honestly the first time I'm seeing an empty quiet rj! That just gave away that I've been in school all the time and nowhere else haha but I don't think it's sad it's been a huge lot of fun :D

This won't be just another post - every single year I'd post at the very end of the year about my entire year's worth of experiences and how it has been. But this time I shall make this year-end post Now, at the start of december! I'd be overseas the entire month from the tenth onwards, and I guess 2008's life stops here for me; what's next is just a nice bright month ahead to start afresh yet again!

Seventeen in short, has been firstly a nice introduction - meeting probably the most wonderful OG one could ever have, meeting a whole lot of new people, finding a whole lot of magic in dance, and spending so much time in new things while retaining old interests. I've been drawing less, and running/sprinting/training a whole lot less, but enough to keep them alive and fun! Plus popping/locking has given me a totally different, outofthisworld side of life which I have most dearly enjoyed :D

And Seventeen has ended as a cliffhanger. Much to my suspense, yet to my disappointment too for the lack of any conclusive happy ending - perhaps i'm always a logical one-track mainstream person for things like these. Stories are cut halfway, tales are half-told. Outcomes have yet to be revealed, and all that's left is for 2009 to be an exciting sequel and to spell out the remains of this crossword, to be the rest of the pieces in this puzzle.

Recent things in this year which have made my life complete!

On pasta, creamy chicken and carbonara: The evergreen meals that have saw me through more than half of my happy days. No surprise - every pasta day is always a happy day no matter what happens! Never fails to get me up high and viewing life with clear skies and few clouds.

On math, and island creamery: Absolute polar opposites of my life put together hahaha. Math has been a huge struggle this year and I believe it will be a huge challenge next year too, but I will conquer it! Island creamery with math will make a huge difference to it! Watch out math you're going downnnnnnnnn.

On good friends and good food: I think this was distinctly a year where I couldn't possibly get by without great wonderful friends who've stuck by me no matter how much I've been a burden to them! Most bright in my memory was that very lazy sunday a few weeks ago which I spent with tingzhang and nat, burning the whole day away at island cream and emptying their shelves into our stomachs :D THANK YOU FRIENDSSS. And oh yes I think I had more good food this entire year than the rest of my other sixteen years on this earth haha!

On fantastic holiday buddies and orientation subcomms! SONG AND DANCE will be remembered for as long as I will potentially remember throughout my school life I say :D Okay there I am being the only loser who didn't jump but this was the best photo I found anyway, and my holidays couldn't be more fun. If I was in any other subcomm I think the second half of this year would've turned out very very differently. I LOVE SONG&DANCE :D

On funny moments: Every single year has its laughs and crazily funny moments and I'm glad to realize that this year has its fair share of incredibly hilarious times, most recent funny thing being ryan teo wearing an rj security guard's uniform and Patrolling around school waving at the other (REAL) security guards!

HAHAHA CHOWSONG ROCKS :D

Finally, on a best friend: TEO TING ZHANG the funny bugger who never fails to get me out of messy downtrodden situations, who never fails to get me laughing into crazy fits, who never fails to inject fun into life, who never fails to be there :D

Haha k I will hereby irritate him by posting this irritating photo!

So here, comes yet another end of another year.

I must therefore, retain my determination.
I must retain my positivity!
I must be MORE positive!
I must be more steady.
I will be focussed and I will hope for the best :D

For whatever that comes my way, I will make the best of it.
Because I will never cease to give Nothing Less Than Of My Very Best; that will never change.

I'm really happy I posted this post!
WASEDA'S IN THREE DAYS I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER :D

Well I don't like living under your spotlight

2008-11-27T23:54:00.003+08:00

I LOVE ORIENTATION SONG&DANCE :D
Spending every single day practising, singing, dancing before the dry runs start and orientation looms nearer and nearer, this can't get any better :D I think our lunches have never lasted any less than 2 hours! Plus the special trip to island creamery makes things so much more exciting!

(vanessa doesn't want to be seen so you're now seeing Smileys!)

Steady now, time to put things into a closer focus! And back to where you knew lay the best of you.

Frozen Desserts

2008-11-23T23:10:00.002+08:00

Today was yet another peaceful and pleasant lazy sunday! What made it even more pleasant was that I could actually spend it reading the entire afternoon away with tingzhang and nat at island creamery while they started studying again :D

I LOVE ISLAND CREAMERY AND YOU HAPPENING PEOPLE :D

My earphones fell apart though now I don't have these portable small ones anymore sigh!

Been reading a lot lately and I'm glad that I'm actually sitting down to read and unwind; life's been going at a breakneck pace and it gets us all blind and makes us forget the simplest of things which lie around silently, but are most crucial in keeping us steady.

Isn't this so wonderful! I think I really enjoy simple nice things so that's a start :D

Back to work tomorrow :D another mega dance day!

Wonderful Returns

2008-11-21T23:47:00.003+08:00

Today was a mega dance day!

It started out with a super long song&dance session today where we learnt and revised a total of four whole dances, lasting all the way past noon and creeping slowly into the late afternoons where we finally had a hearty lunch and spent a few hours laughing and talking in the eating place :D I LOVE SONG&DANCE i'm totally going to miss everyone when orientation ends.

And after that few hours of dance-learning, practising and drilling, I went to the studio in a matter of moments and I really think that today's popping and locking lessons were the best I ever had in an entire year - different instructors made it a whole lot more unique, interesting and was a complete spinoff from what i had expected the evening to be, so yay I had a lot of fun :D plus a shift in teaching focus meant that i learnt new techniques as well; excitinggggg :D

I believe i need a great deal of focus to settle some serious work. I promise myself I will have that very distinct direction to follow!

In the meantime this was a result of boredom and fadz's suggestion to post a comic strip - it isn't much and it's completely pointless but yay i had fun drawing after so long, anyway :D

MIRRORS.

Life is good :D
(on second thought, except for the fact that yesterday i was playing touch rugby with a few EA guys at fort canning and i slipped on the slippery moss and crashlanded on my side and now my hip bones feel painfully strange haha!)

One Step At A Time!

2008-11-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

Enough of that thought about how much effort we put in and what's actually enough - for anything will be more than enough if we look at it in the right way :D

I spent quite a while everywhere - at home, on the train staring into space, in the studio whilst popping my arms off, in classrooms staring at blank walls (and blank faces) - trying to sort out everything and trying to find that cog that has fell out somewhere in my system, but turns out there's actually no missing part at all for what is missing is just the positivity.

I think positivity works wonders. By just allowing yourself that one chance, that one little hope of things turning right, suddenly all those thousands of problems disappear on their own accord, or you probably didn't notice yourself solving it! By not denying yourself the possibility of starting every single day as a happy boy/girl, and disregarding the assumption that you have to start the day off sad because the atmosphere around you is sad, i think i see a whole new world seriously :D

I probably sound like I'm half-awake and I'm all ready to go to dreamland but as crazy as it sounds and as idealistic as it seems, i guess it really works. From yesterday till now I think i've had simple happy things come my way, from a nice coffee treat by my buddy, to nice surprising emails, to a whole day of dance! Yes today was a pure dance day - song&dance in the morning, dance prac in the afternoon, dance lessons in the evening :D including a lesson on House which I haven't tried for nearly a year and I got horribly owned but it was tiringly fun!

You never know until you try! We all have our low points no doubt, but disbelief and narrow perspectives shouldn't be a normmmmm every single day deserves to be a happy day :D

I'm always posting at around 11-ish, I realize!

Why Can't I Turn Off The Radio

2008-11-17T23:14:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, is one's very best effort ever enough at all?

A Little Fragile

2008-11-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

At some point of time in school today, I was walking around the library block and it was the first time since ages ago that the school felt Empty. There're of course times where no people would be around at all but it wasn't the physical emptiness that stuck out, but the coldness and deaded feel of the place. Especially at a time like this; on a quiet weekend in the middle of the A levels with j2s still studying like mad before the end of their exams and j1s either busy burying their heads in orientation work or busy enjoying life out there, or perhaps even studying! But yes it really felt empty for the first time.

Today we had a whole day's worth of orientation games internal dry run! And it was really fun but very draining at the same time. I guess I was all drained and wiped out and I was wandering around all lost and trying to find the games people when I happened to snap these photos so perhaps the emptiness really stood out more!

The day passed really quickly. I wish my holidays won't pass this fast. It's so saddening!

A few exciting things which happened over the past week:

THE GREAT MOZZIE WIPEOUT - the stagnant, rotting, messy, dirty, grimy, disgusting council canteen area simply had to be cleaned so eventually with a lot of effort and under stanley's brainchild, the mozzie wipeout took place and we spent the whole day clearing the entire area out :D

Eventually with a lot of rubbish-clearing, vaccuum-cleaning, pail-swashing, floor-mopping, houseshed-moving and table-shifting, we pulled it off and I really hope it's in a clean state from now on! Don't want mosquitoes and funny things growing everywhere. It was seriously getting contaminated haha.

That was monday. I can hardly remember what's happened this entire week; my mind is fizzling out. Ah yes on wednesday paul tingzhang hiok and i decided to go for a random lunch at crystal jade. It was my 3rd crystal jade visit again this week, with tingzhang hahaha and we were laughing at how we opted not to have the appetiser peanuts and the wet tissues so that we could cut $2 off our bill!

Plain porridge costs $1.80 while a nice porridge with egg and meat costs $6.80, a huge difference and tingzhang keeps on going for the plain ones to cut down on his food budget, the champion. In the end it could possibly be because we're known to mess up the place and hence they gave us a broken seat when the four of us entered the restaurant!

Hahaha tingzhang wasn't happy. In the end we were slightly late for o'comm meeting because paul had to gel his hair in the toilet and we were all busy owning his hair up and down and upside down, spending about ten plus minutes at the mirrors laughing our heads off :D we then promptly decided that there was an urgent need to cab back to school, if not we'd really be horribly late!

And this is the MOST unique cab i've ever seen! Fascinating :D

Before o'comm meeting started we had a bag of marshmellows so we then conveniently decided to play Chubby Bunny with them, and we then proceeded to stuff our mouths full with marshmellows while saying Chubby Bunny loud and clear! TIDDY COULDN'T FIT ANY MORE THAN TWO HAHA and here is hiok with his mouth full. Quite successful he had six or seven in his mouth :D

Thursday was a really tough day; O'team cut results were out and I guess SongnDance really lost our core driving force of people ): Gah the toughness of it all - it was a really painful morning where we all really got sombre and we felt like a whole lot had been taken out of us. Nothing, and really nothing can take away what we all put together.

The lunch we all had afterwards was really nice (: had a great deal of laughter especially when we each ordered a personal set and yet ordered a group set so in the end we had a total of 10 cups of pepsi and 10 bowls of soup for just 6 people at one single table hahaha!

It seriously looked quite funny. And yes cheryl taking all of the pepsi!

Plus dylan who's actually a really experienced camwhore! Haha he competed with cheeyang to see who could finish an entire cup of pepsi in the shortest time and he got owned upside downnn because cheeyang simply pour the entire cup down his throat. And they both ended up really bloated and feeling horrible!

SongnDance is the best of the best :D not all of us are here but we all are just the besttt :D

It's been a fun week! I shall be a good student and attempt some research tomorrow, or else I'll never be able to start on history! :D

Insomniac

2008-11-14T11:47:00.003+08:00

And I say: Never, ever underestimate the power of good sleep. I just woke up a few minutes ago in the school library and I think I can't look any closer to a panda but my mind is finally fresh for once and I think I'm a little more driven. This is going somewhere :D

Shall continue this post when I'm back home!
(edit: In the end I just fell asleep after a long day with dance lessons at the end!)

I think you're beautiful.

2008-11-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

I spent quite a while sitting alone in the canteen today in the evening past seven, and it was (very unfortunately, only) my first time I really started to slow down and sort out everything that's been happening so far. Things have been going at a crazy pace, and I must admit I've somehow deteriorated into this state of daily blankness which has only served to ruin myself, seriously.

I slowly realized a lot of things by just allowing myself to have that free space of about half an hour. Well limes limes limes, why are you putting yourself at a checkpoint? You're giving yourself time to breathe, to rest, to stop and prepare, and you are already ready to go and all revved up to start living a most fulfilling life in which you are going to achieve so much, but the truth is that you never really start. You're ready with all those big plans but where's the first heavy step which you need to take out of your resting station? You've got a long road to go and you shouldn't be sitting by the pit stops.

The difference that really matters, lies in one's ability to (1) start things, and (2) keep them going. It's just that simple; it's a pity that we find it so difficult. But the truth is that we do find it hard. Why so - because we sometimes do not have the strength to keep things going. Why the lack - because we sometimes believe that we're not up to it. Why the disbelief - because we're unsure and we're uncertain of how things will turn out to it. This applies for almost every single little thing in our lives, and anything is possible. Before you allow yourself to hit rock-bottom once again, explore the possibilities; Rising up high is not any harder than hitting rock-bottom.

And I guess the mastermind behind all these negativities is Fear.

It's fear. Fear is stopping you from doing your best, going the extra distance, pushing the extra mile. Fear hinders your motivation; you'll feel much weaker than what you really are. Fear stops in your tracks, literally, mentally too. It binds you to a spot and embraces delusion and safety. It celebrates conservatism and celebrates unchanged comfort. It is an enemy of motivation, an enemy of passion and drive. It backstabs dreams and betrays hopes. All because we are Scared, and we Don't Dare. Fear is nothing, I want to say.

It's completely nothing, nothing.

I will make it nothing.

A very nice page from a nike training book I found a few days ago. Reading through it really makes me wonder - sometimes we're all strong heroes in our own way. We're holding ourselves back.

No more holding back.

Near perfect, you

2008-11-10T00:48:00.001+08:00

The past week was moderately fine when I posted on wednesday but it later become a big blast when friday and saturday popped up! And yes Popped up literally, for friday's pop-lock classes were really tough considering it was my first time attending a higher-level popping/locking lesson in more than half a year and it left me all tired and just wanting to plod along back home and collapse into bed. Which i eventually did after a few hours of lazing around at home!

Have been hanging around with tingzhang for the past few days and haha things have been really really fun, like eating ajisen ramen at compass point an hour before dance and watching him getting owned by the chilli. And loads of funny stuff like how we randomly met TODAY on a sunday! At ikea :D haha tingzhang rocks :D

I realize I've been dancing a lot lately too! Restarting lessons at studio wu + orientation song and dance + talentime practices = absolute fun. Especially song and dance omg it's really getting so exciting with the dance being so cool I can hardly wait for orientation to come! And song and dance meetings are always so fun with crazy people and crazy dancing woohoo :D

Talking about dance I seriously have got to get better. Was surfing around youtube a few minutes ago and I watched a few videos of Kite, this japanese popper whom Josh told me about a few days ago, most noted for his use of legs in his popping and it's really really fantastic haha maybe if I drill it over the next few months I just might get closer to this!

It's a nice morning and I've got 8 hours before another meeting starts in school so off I go!

Can I Have This Dance?

2008-11-05T23:56:00.001+08:00

Reaching school later than expected, I was left with only a few puny minutes to get myself a good run and some training, and in the end I obviously stopped and felt very disappointed about the utter lack of time and the heavy morning traffic that has caused it. A meeting soon ensued where I learnt about new happenings and ultimately it wasn't really a good meeting to kickstart council work after the long OP drought, but the day's passed!

I remembered this very lazy and lofty day, that sometimes what you hinge your expectations and beliefs on may very well turn its head and be the source of your doubt if you don't get it into your mind and live it outright. Lately lots of us have been revisiting the point of how to live our lives especially in such a fast-paced place where we can't really fully stop and point at our failures and learning exactly what went wrong and how we can do it better; I this at this point of time, it's not really possible every single day.

Look ahead, live life the way you want it - that's just how simple it is, and it is seriously really that simple. Live it strong, live it complete, then I can safely tell myself at the end of two wholesome years that I have given nothing less than of my very best, and I will hence know that these two years I have really given my all, and know that it's been worthwhile. Feel happy for the company, feel happy for the times! Yes yes a good mindset is all it takes!

The rest of the day was just good - spent the early half of the afternoon at Ikea shopping for furniture along with a group of friends who went sliding around in the trolleys and spent huge bucks on ice-creams and hot dogs, not to mention sharon and her multitude of currypuffs hahaha she was thinking very critically in a small about whether she should buy more currypuffs :D

After that I managed to catch 007: Quantum of Solace at tampines mall with tingzhang who was just so nice to come all the way to tampines to watch it :D It was a really cool movie and I realized that my phone is the same as Bond's! Just that his is the titanium silver special edition of the C902 haha. Pretty much a sequel to Casino Royale, but could've been more thrilling. But then again I couldn't ask for a cooler movie in these times :D

I was scrolling through my iPod today and I found this song, and I really really like it! An excerpt:

Finding my own words, my own little stage
My own epic drama, my own scripted page.
I'll send you a rough draft, I'll seal it with tears,
Maybe you'll read it and I'll re-appear.

From the start it was shaky and the characters rash
A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
Are friendly intentions and fair-weather smiles.

Don't leave me in lieu of this songgggggggggg.

Work work starts tomorrow tomorroww.

Won't you promise me.

2008-11-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

The weekend was long, draggy, but really great :D

It was the first weekend in more than a year, that I could safely and confidently say that I had absolutely nothing to do, nor wanted to do anything else, other than kick back and enjoy the lull of the holidays, just for this weekend exclusively. PW OP ended in a horrible disaster I must say - I now severely detest my laptop for malfunctioning for the one and only time, during the actual presentation itself where it started autoclicking like nobody's business and my presentation slides just rushed through. Every single person in the room developed an utterly awed/shocked expression and they probably assumed I was a madman sabotaging my group and happily clicking away while I was frantically trying to stop my laptop from autoclicking further. Thank goodness it eventually stopped and I managed to promptly apologise for the technical error before any further damage was done, but I seriously seriously hope PW won't turn out too badly! We slogged too many late nights and too many months for this to just end this way. But nevertheless I still love all the fun and laughter I had with my teammmm they rock and I know we did our best and we laughed the loudest too :D

A big portion of that very friday evening after a whole afternoon of presentations was spent at Rafflesian Spotlight. In abhinav's words, truly a runaway success, many many times greater and more wonderful since its debut in 2005!

Plus the performances were really great as well - no lack of singing talent every year, plus the fact that this year, the open category had immensely stiff competition with dancers, bands, beatboxers even! and yes well the comedians took the crown again!

Plus some of us were invited back for guest performances! I truly loved the songs sung by jiawei and louis :D and titus never fails to save the day by making the entire crowd laugh their heads off. And I truly enjoyed my time on stage dancing away like I never had before. It truly turned my day around :D

Maybe I'll post a video when I get one!

Other than that, the weekend was spent walking around shopping, talking, thinking, lazing around, allowing my mind to free up and enjoy some peace before settling into a good frame of mind again! Today was first spent hanging around in dhoby ghaut then signing up again for dance with boss and vinna, plus enjoying good icecream :D THEN CAME A01C CLASS CHALET MADNESS!

Here I was, stupidly taken bus 403 down into pasir ris beach and realizing that the whole class wasn't at the bungalow and they were enjoying a few hours of arcade at White Sands. So I had to endure the rain and thunder and waited a longggg while before I got back to the interchange.

In the end when I reached the interchange, I had to go back again HAHAHA but I had a lot of fun :D

POP AND LOCK RESTARTS TOMORROW :D

It's Now or Never.

2008-10-30T23:48:00.001+08:00

"You've got sixteen minutes left. Only sixteen minutes left before you stop wearing red [jerseys] anymore. These sixteen minutes will go down in history. It's now or never." - HSM3

That was a statement during the awesome movie which really made my insides churn with thoughts of how we're living our lives and how magic can be made in moments where we give our all and cherish the present for all these opportunities. It's so funny how we have a year and we think we have all the time in the world to achieve what we set out to do in school, but turns out we never have as much time as we thought we'd have, and as much as we want to do so much, there's just a time limit to everything.

Okay it was weird at first how tingzhang and i wanted to go watch a High School Musical movie, of all movies, but in the end tingzhang had to do it in the name of council (MATCH SUPPORT CASE STUDY YO :D) and we joined boss and vinna at the cathay to catch it yesterday!

And I think no other movie can paint a high school scenario so similar to ours. It was really great.

I agree with boss seriously; it's our Senior Year next year, one final year before everything ends.
I will not be wearing a school uniform anymore after that.
I will not be a current Raffles student anymore.
I will not have all my wonderful friends around anymore.

I still remember what tiankai said, many months ago when we were running for council. He told the crowd "The only sad thing about RJC is the fact that we only have 600 days to enjoy this wonderful school life," and that really shook some people.

Haha I just think school is a really wonderful place sometimes - as much as it doesn't seem so now, with all that work and all those pains - but true as I slowly come to realize, that All That Work and All Those Pains get magnified out there. It's really such a nice comfortable home in here. Looking at it, I think I'll really miss my friends and the many many familiar faces and places all around. Every day we trudge to school and we pass day by day but little do we notice that once it's gone IT'S GONEE.

I think I'm really proud to say that Raffles is my second home, and I am very certain that these 6 years are truly indeed going to be the best and most eventful years of my life. I'm sounding like I'm going to graduate ahhh but yes no I HAVE ONE YEAR MORE. I promise to be a happy boy and I will make sure I get the most out of this one year for I won't have anything to get out of there after. Once this coming year is gone, it's gone.

And I'll convert that statement:
"You've got one year left. One year left before you stop donning the colours of green black white. This one year will go down in history. It's now or never."

I'LL BE OFF, PW OP WILL END TOMORROW :D
Then I'm off to enjoy a night of dance at Rafflesian Spotlight!

I've got to find a way out / Maybe there's a way out.

2008-10-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

I just got back from a quick weekend break in malaysia - it really was very weird being made to go overseas in the middle of all this crazy work going around with PW and whatnot. But well, these three days have passed, and here I am sitting at home feeling rather strange.

The long driving trips to and fro from singapore to malacca during which I could pretty much do nothing freed up some time for me to think about loads of things. And with the huge rush of work flowing in and out every single day I guess this was where a small holiday made this much a difference. I've reminded myself that these two years, no matter how quick they may appear to pass or how blind they may turn out to be, will definitely be a time where I will have done my best - nothing short of it. I don't want to leave regretting everything.

Well that's for certain, all along. I just need to give myself reminders along the way. Otherwise, the immense sleep has done me a lot good, along with the sights and sounds :D

Nothing like old bustling streets and a humble dinner :D

And the occasional copycat lurks around this part of malacca too.

Malaysia has countless malls that give vivocity a run for its money in sheer size and design - like sunway pyramid with its new extensions!

The Rangolis around the mall are wonderful - I still remember how measly our rangoli was when we did one for inter-house rangoli! We should seriously learn some stuff so we can do better next year.

And some buildings along the streets are lined with lights at their corners, so at night it makes the entire area look as if it's some toy fairyland! I snapped a shot on the road and well it wasn't too clear.

It's time to set things on a more definite path I suppose, with this flurry of events that has been tugging me in all directions.

They don't believe in shooting stars, but in shoes and cars.

2008-10-19T23:14:00.001+08:00

This has been an awesomely crazy week :D

Stand Up Take Action in RJC has been a blast so far; I think what really made it a blast was the immense support we had from everyone in school :D I'm just so glad! Friday 17th october was the international pledge day to stand up against poverty, and it was a huge pity that we couldn't hold the pledge-taking session during assembly to secure mass support. But it was just so comforting and inspiring when I walked into the amphitheatre at 12.30pm to see the entire place filled full of people ready to take the pledge omg :D I was really really awed. Really shows that all of us have a big big heart and we are willing to Stand Up and make sure our voices do not go unheard!

So to whoever who reads this, if you have taken the pledge / taken a photo for the countdown clock / visited the Coalition of Aid Fair / bought a Make Poverty History band / bought a Stand Up badge / ordered a shirt / signed up for the Open Mic session / donated rice for the rice drive / left your handprint on the banner / signed up to be a volunteer, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU ROCK AND YOU'RE GONNA SHAKE THE WORLD BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID :D

And the following, essentially, is what went on over the past few weeks of Stand Up!

The banner! It was quite funny how we got it done initially - I ran out of cloth after I painted RAFFLES then I went to arab street with tingzhang to find another piece of cloth. Mingzhe suggested that we find this shop called Teng Joo Textiles but after a complete hour of wandering around arab street searching for Teng Joo (and getted spied on by dubious RJ teachers who were driving around Bugis in a small car hahaha), we still didn't manage to find it. In the end we found a shop called GHIM JOO TEXTILES and we bought a piece of cloth for $9, as compared to naomi's initial $20 for the first piece of cloth. NAOMI YOU GOT SCAMMED! But yes it was really fun anyway hahah we finished painting and started handprinting :D

Here's the completed banner, hung above the announcement area woohoo!

The floor decals! Vinna got them printed very nicely and they're wonderfully professional yay :D

It was quite funny too because the second floor decal initially had a really striking typo. It read 'STAND UP TAKE ACTION AGAINST POVERTY AND INQUALITY.' And we didn't notice it for an entire weekend after we pasted the floor decal on the tiled floor and felt very happy about getting it done hahah. Then eventually we realized after an entire weekend passed.

The lanterns! They were pretty fun to make :D Haha then I proceeded to line all the light bulbs while jiayun audrey and hongjie decided to camwhore with them!

Eventually they were hung up and they are marvellousssss :D

The coalition of aid fair was wonderful too! It was certainly more major than any other fair previously held at the canteen entrance and what was even more wonderful was that loads of people came down to view the booths and buy bands/badges and take photos for the countdown clock!

Then on friday we were at the indochine, clarke quay for the official opening ceremony of the stand up countdown clock, selling stand up t-shirts as well as the anti-poverty bands. The place was pretty unique - probably converted from one of those old shophouses, and recreated to give off a rather ancient chinese dynastic feel.

In fact in the day it looks like some dilapidated temple in the middle of clarke quay - no wonder I never noticed it when I walked by, so many times! At night it just transforms into this pseudo-ancient china hotspot with flashing lights and cool music. I didn't really like it when they started to release this funny mist all over the place and when they placed aromatic incense sticks around the area, but haha I guess that's what makes it interesting!

John Chan from Plain Sunset came to perform!

A huge wall of these light thingies whose name I can never remember somehow. To measure the sound of music.

The opening ceremony!

We sold a lot a lot of t-shirts :D and a lot of bands! I'm so glad.

My dinner was an interesting one; I landed myself with 5-6 hot dogs because there was surplus (turns out we bought a lot more food than required), and I managed to gulp down about 4 while giving the other 2 away. Then I reached home before midnight with my flu slowly creeping back to my nose and fell asleep rather immediately when I turned in.

And yes, so ends the week; Stand Up will continue next week with Open Mic sessions, Movie Screenings, and a continuation of the Fair, Sanitation Project, Rice Drive and sales! EVERYONE KEEP COMING DOWN TO STAND UP AGAINST POVERTY OKAY!

Today, today, today. Today was a uniquely refreshing day; I woke up at 9am to the nice view of the Singapore Flyer from a window! I had a hotel stayover at the Conrad Centennial the previous night. Soon after I enjoyed a rather hearty breakfast at suntec before taking on an afternoon of strolling, shopping and just unwinding.

Life is a piece of cake... and a cup of coffee!

And yes today I managed to get Ne-Yo's latest album, Year Of The Gentleman! I'm really really glad; I've set my eyes on this album months ago and finally I got it (almost for free at HMV, thanks to one of dad's credit card promotions again haha).

It's not just any other album; the songs in this one are really great. Still popular, yet also with a touch of sincerity and earnestness. And also, Year Of The Gentleman speaks about those times 'where you couldn't walk out of your house unless you looked your best', lending strength from the past R&B giants like Nat King Cole and the Rat Pack. "They're suited and everything is right from top to bottom. Not saying it has to be a suit, 'cause clothes don't make the man — it's the attitude and person."

And I agree - this album speaks of style, yet speaks volume too. Definitely shallower than the likes of Corrinne May but this is a whole different level altogether!

IT'S ~~DOOMSDAY~~ MONDAY TOMORROW! Let's be steady and await our results.

The prospect of it is really scary. But I just want to say that I'm ready, even if I'm not. I will be!

Asking the sun to shine away, to jerk it out

2008-10-16T23:07:00.003+08:00

This isn't anything near a complete and fulfilling post to account for all this stagnation over the past week, but I really have to say today was a really great day, probably the most pleasant ever since the promos ended. It's a huge pity all this nice air only lingers around for a while more before it dissipates away at the imminent onslaught of the results. But yes these few remaining days are all we have - I'll just leave all the worry and concern to monday itself and allow my head some peace!

And why was today a great day, in all simplicity:

- PW oral presentation dry run ended today, instead of tomorrow for it was pushed earlier by a day. I developed a severely extreme aversion to the shift in date initially until it really dawned on me after the presentation that I have a day more to relax and a day more to reflect over what went wrong during the presentation, and certainly everything will be sorted out all in good time :D

- Today was the first day this week where I didn't have to eat lunch on the go! I had a nice comfortable lunch sitting down with tingzhang and company, and it sure beats eating lunch from a packed box discreetly in between meeting breaks.

- SONG AND DANCE MEETING! Where we decided on the songs for next year's batch dance, and started choreographing. I'm so glad for the group for I'm in and the song which we're allocated to choreo moves for! We are a pretty high bunch of people and GUESS WHAT WE FINISHED CHOREOGRAPHING OUR ENTIRE SECTION BEFORE THE MEETING ENDED :D Haha I really had so much fun dancing all the way past the afternoon and into the evening, with the loud music, really nice company and much of the light-hearted atmosphere. Houyes when I left at 6 plus I think we're done with half the entire dance already yay :D

- I got the Stand Up banner up after song and dance, with lots of help from wangye weiting and charlene! THANKS SO MUCH!

- Before I left for home I managed to squeeze another 5km run on the really dark track. It's been quite a while since I last ran on the track in the dark and it put my nerves to rest yay shall keep running on and on I won't stop :D

And yes, what a nice world woohoo we definitely have got to love today of course we have to!

Notice you, noticing me.

2008-10-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been in colourful hurry. Many times I remember walking here and there all over the school getting to different places and listening to different people talking, coming up with different ideas and settling on different decisions. Yay I'm back to the old life of handling numerous projects again and I can't love this life any greater!

To make days more wonderful still, our timetables have been restructured for these two weeks, and with the exception of PW, our lives have reverted back to that of the old orientation days, having huge free blocks, absolutely no tutorials, and most desirably, having a peace of mind after all that crazy studying for the promos. In fact school life now is as good as it can get - in between the promos and our results, with nothing but slow-paced lectures and lots of fun stuff after school late into the night. I'm treasuring this. Even when there's an entire presentation to prepare for, this can't really get any better :D

More importantly, to everyone who's reading, READ THIS MOST CAREFULLY!

I will STAND UP AND TAKE ACTION AGAINST POVERTY on 17th October 2008 in RJC. Join me!

Stand Up and Take Action is here once again. Last year in RI a very small-scale event was organized, and a group of really passionate people Stood Up against poverty, making sure that the world knows we're not happy with the present situation of widespread poverty in developing countries and pledging to take steps to make a positive difference in this society.

That was last year. This year, continuing on from the Stand Up events in RI and RGS last year, we bring to you STAND UP & TAKE ACTION 2008, RJC! The actual pledge against poverty will be on the 17th, and in that week, you will find for yourself countless opportunities to take a stand against poverty. Await the week ahead :D

Events and fringe activities to be held in RJC include:

1. Coalition of Aid Fair - where various NGOs and aid organisations such as WorldVision, RefugeeSEA, AIESEC, Action for Aids and HOPE Foundation will set up informative booths/displays for you to take further action in the fight against poverty!

2. Sales booth - Purchase white wristbands from MakePovertyHistory, and badges with the official SUTA logos 2008 to show your support for the cause!

3. Banner Handprinting - Make your impression by handprinting on a giant banner which reads 'RAFFLES STANDS UP AND TAKES ACTION'!

4. The Sanitation Project - It takes only USD$150 to buy enough cement to build a sanitation unit for a co-ed school in India. Through pledging and aid, we can help provide clean sanitation to Third World nations!

5. The Rice Drive - As an individual, class or SIG, donate some rice into the huge RJC collection sack, and help feed abused migrant workers resting in the H.O.M.E. shelter in Singapore!

6. Oh, Say That Thing! - An open mic event where you have up to 7 minutes to say all that you wish to regarding the issue of poverty. Perform anything - and we mean anything, speech, song or dance - original or adapted, and let your voice be heard!

Coming to RJC next week. Stand Up and Take Action against poverty.

Wake Up

2008-10-05T23:33:00.002+08:00

This is again, another lazy sunday, seemingly uneventful and pretty much dead, but it's telling me so many things.

On top of everything, it's telling me to wake up!

So I shall.

Bigger than your two left feet

2008-10-03T23:45:00.004+08:00

For most of the past two days, I've been in the performing arts centre at the CCAL conference with a whole lot of friends and councillors - initially I thought that I'd probably already have gone through the courses, seminars and talks to be conducted, but it turned out to be two days of inspirational talks by Eric Feng and Martin Tan, and it really did help a lot!

You don't get to listen to good speakers talk everyday, and this was simply a good opportunity to just drop all forms and inklings of disbelief and dismissive ignorance, and listen out earnestly to what they had to offer. And I really enjoyed a good chance to re-learn what I had forgotten, and re-enforce what I had dropped. These lessons come to us in many forms all the time, and half the time we're too tired or going at a pace too fast to learn from them, so I'm glad I did manage to refresh myself on my purpose and focus in this short period of time devoid of any studying and PW (to my horror, OP is only a few weeks away!)

I seriously think I've forgotten myself too many times, sometimes. Too frequently I've allowed myself to fade into the background of acceptable standards and foundational targets, and going on this way, I'll never be as good as I really want to be. And I think it's really all too simple to be the best person I can be - to just keep at it and keep at staying as the person I am and want to be. It's not that hard, in essence. It's somewhere near. I'll keep at it :D

I remember this point about how we shouldn't limit our dreaming and we should always have big ideas, aspirations, and keep our hopes up high about every single little thing we wish to see happen, or want to make happen. Sometimes in front of us, it seems so clear that this is certainly the right thing to do, but yet we hold ourselves back a tad too often because of many reasons which we can never be able to count. I think I've been a little too wary of failure, a little too doubtful, and it's seriously wasting my time and getting on my nerves - will work at it and make sure I get somewhere!

I realize I never seem to realize some truths. I believe I'm dreaming.

Random stuff over these days:

The size 13 titus shoe versus xian's size 6 shoe hahaha!

HIOK :D Haha not bad ah we owned the world these two days!

The army of little plastic troops I was ready to deploy in a lazy game of Risk with mingzhe stanley joelynn while we waited for the awesome steamboat buffet dinner we had later on :D where boss promptly toppled every single one of them and said that they needed to sleep and they shouldn't be standing up hahah.

Sudden realization: This is a 600th post, wow.
Okay o'comm meeting tomorrow and council outing woohoo!

I can't look away

2008-10-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

The promos ended on monday, taking with them a whole load of pressure over the past month and lots of brain saturation! It's been a whole month of crazy studying, to the point that this small portion of 09A01C actually thought of going home to mug whilst shopping along orchard. But anyway our post-promos experience was quite dismal, owing to the fact that the movie we watched, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, was utterly disappointing and a cheap thrill for a gory horror/thriller. Well in fact most of us entered the cinema hall thinking that it was some chick flick and something to laugh at but yes I guess we were wrong!

And we walked out of the cinema feeling the huge loss of our money and time but no nothing stopped us from going mad and just plain enjoying ourselves; well after a few hours of orchard shopping i then proceeded on to pay shanzhi and claire a visit at funan, and spent a few hours talking away and catching up. Not to mention shanzhi attempted to drop my phone down five floors while I was in a conversation with tingzhang haha! But yes monday was quite a day, not really one which was all exciting and leaving me all tired at dusk but just a comfortable and simple day where I had everything to feel happy about :D

All this happiness reminds me of the past few days too, starting from last week's monday and all the way through the week where one by one, subject by subject, the promos slowly started to disappear - especially after the killer day of math and history! And by friday, the BCME/PCME people were all done and they all ran off to party while poor me had to study lit still, but it was fun enough :D cousin naomi was around waiting for people to go out with and she showed me her very cool john mayer velcro thing! Which I then proceeded to paste onto her monster wallet.

Oh then we got smarter so we pasted Mayer over john donne haha!

Then later into the day I ran into Kirk and Ryan after running around trying to find a non-tiring place to study (which was an epic failure) and I had a really wonderful talk with them in that very lazy late afternoon. Time flies really, now here I stand nearing the end of my J1 year and next year I'm going to take the A levels soon, oh please just a moment ago I was just done with PSLE. Two years ago, kirk and ryan were so small and now ryan very sadly towers over me! But ya ryan was saying it was quite funny how finally this day I'm talking to him face to face over major school matters concerning RI but yes time really flies and I just want to say that I'm really super super proud of ryan and kirk and ripb. TAN AH DON'T LET ME DOWN AH JIAYOU :D

On saturday there was the BCG phase III presentations - which brought back a lot of memories about how all of us pulled through BCG for the whole of last year, crazily rushing, researching, presenting, rehearsing. Including how our team used to go over to Tom's place the day before every single presentation day, rushing till the very last minute. And how jiahao gobbled every single piece of food that entered the room, and how we all fell asleep halfway whilst preparing. But yes everyone's getting a lot better and I'm just glad that I had the experience of BCG for the whole of last year. Makes me a whole lot stronger, versatile and business-smarter!

And here I am, after all this studying, ready to restart council work YAY I REALLY CAN'T WAIT. There's so many things to do and so little time but there's just so much we want to do so yay I'm going to give the best I can give, nothing less. Not going to stop till the end of our term where we can look back and firmly tell ourselves that this was really the best year of our lives.

Alright a new day ahead :D turning in!

We're (not) worn thin.

2008-09-21T22:11:00.000+08:00

There's only a few hours away from the very first promos paper!

I guess for every single j1 out there, all that painstaking preparation, all that dreadful worry and doubt, all that fatigue and weariness, has all come down to this. And the best we can do for ourselves to have peace of mind, let all these pressures and standards flow away and tell yourself that the best, essentially, is all the world asks of you.

Have no fear!

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Don't give in to doubt.

“Pay no attention to what the critics say;
no statue has ever been erected to a critic.”
- Jean Sibelius, Finnish Composer

Just do it. Give it the best you've got.

“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
- Guillaume Apollinaire, French Poet/Philosopher

I think a year or two ago I posted about how I would look at life straight in the eye, and I'd say 'I'm going to conquer you'. These exams and all that mugging are pretty much nowhere close to the lives we want to lead, but this is but another phase of what we're going through, so yup it's just another wave to hop on, another locked door to open. We will tide over it :D

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE!

Point Of The Day? It's right here.

2008-09-17T20:20:00.001+08:00

Today has been a clean mugging streak I hope I can keep this up till the very end!

I shan't disrupt my mugging streak anymore but this certainly has to be announced, for a very special person:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINGZHANGGG :D

To my very best friend who's stuck with me long enough to lose count of how many times we have burst out in random laughter, who's been around long enough to know when life gets too damn tough and when it's time to just call timothy and have a good laugh, and who's been there long enough to care! Haha I've written enough on the giant pink (and gay) card so I shan't say so much here!

But yes, have a happy seventeenth amidst all this unhappiness out of mugging! That goes for everyone else too!

OKAY SEA HIST CALLS.

Over It

2008-09-14T22:30:00.000+08:00

Spent another sunday outside with the usual gang, chenyang weiting wangye nat hoho tingzhang shiyang at marina square subway studying away and well, enjoying the sunday sunshine. Contrary to my usually lazy weekends, the decision to go out and enjoy some fresh air and still mugging at the same time was a right one :D

Nothing like a footlong with a cup of coffee to go along. Haha I realize I really appreciate all these little nice moments! Like how the sun shines into the subway restaurant but we're all cold and cosy in a corner finishing off what's left to cover. Like how hoho stole my ipod away and went to the toilet with it. Like how shiyang threw the subway stress ball at hoho and he hit it back with his squash racket and it almost hit other subway patrons. Like how nat would go mad the moment tingzhang does something stupid haha!

Well yes apart from all these nice moments, I was considerably productive - did history, finished off a math paper, some econs too :D Shall work on some stuff before I turn in as well!

And well it all appears so clear - we tend to descend into utter worry and endless bouts of pressure as the days slowly close into a dreadful end; because of our expectations to perform, to excel, to achieve so much more, to hit the sky. But we will hit the sky if we don't think about what would happen if we fall to the ground trying to fly.

Keep going everyone! Just a little more patience, perseverance, it'll turn out well all in good time :D

Details In The Fabric

2008-09-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

So the past few days were spent studying away like how everyone else did, and it's funny how I've been sleeping more these days but feeling more and more tired as each day crawls by.

I think we're trapped and stuck dead in this funny fortnight (or make that just a bit off a week's worth of time!) left to the exams - for while we simply can't wait for the time to rush by, can't wait for the exams to end, can't wait for the fun and normal life to come back again, we still hold on to every single dreaded waking minute for there's still so much left undone. But well time IS time and time will pass! The best we can do is the make the best of it.

It's funny how some of us cling on to our hopes and dreams, always wishing that we'd be able to touch the skies one day, ultimately just being the best we can ever possibly be. These hopes give us grit and determination, yet may very well fall prey to the crumbling taste of Falling Short. I guess I've been losing my head over trying to shoot the moon, pretty much, and yup this will go nowhere but straight on where I want and where I like it to be. I'll make these school days the days where I can say that I've been who I loved to be.

Maybe we've just been music players whose batteries have gone flat and we've not been charged for some time!

Details in the Fabric
Jason Mraz

Calm down,
Deep breaths,
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up.

If it's a broken part, replace it;
If it's a broken arm then brace it,
If it's a broken heart then face it.

And hold your own,
Know your name,
And go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric;
Are the things that make you panic;
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow;
Hell, no reason, go on and scream.
If you're shocked, it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Everything will be fine.
Everything in no time at all;
Hearts will hold.

Just a week (or two) more to go before these days of haze pass! :D

Miss Murder, Can I?

2008-09-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

Another two days into crazy studying, and SEVENTEEN MORE DAYS to go before the promos start.

I'm totally spoiling the mood of any rj j1 who's passing by right now but yes this is a strict reminder that you have about roughly two weeks (and a few days) before the exams start and you seriously don't want to foam and die for them alright! So have some focus, sit down nicely, mug away like you've never mugged before hahah.

I've been tightly locked away in a far corner of the school, and you can say i'm studying away rather madly, from morning till evening with a break for lunch and back home, studying until it's a nice time to sleep. And I just have to keep at it, and keep going. No holding back and no stopping and well I think I should be well on my way somewhere. Hopefully!

But yes, today was quite a funny day, of a few moments of Digression, Distress and nonsense.

A week into mugging, we gradually feel the effects of information overload and our heads get all heavy and weary and yes we all get tired and burnt at some point of time. Being the math dodo that I am, I just kept at math every morning and into the afternoons until the point where I seriously refuse to solve any further equation - I then move on. BUT YES MATH KILLS. And for tingzhang, math and chem kills.

CHEM > TINGZHANG.

MASS MURDER HAHAHA

In the end we bought these super long slurpy sweet strands which we started to fool around with and we went mad. Tingzhang didn't have any strands to slurp on, hence the insatiable hunger.

Hahah bomb la. Apparently shiyang cooked up this story about how nat, hoho, tingzhang and him went to paragon to eat 26 xiaolongbaos at din tai fung but actually turns out that along the way to j8, they hopped on a cab and made the driver drive about nonsensically before they decided that they should go to novena. They then ate at food junction (when j8 has such a nice one) before proceeding to an ice-cream shop which turned them away because they were having a power failure. They then came back after 15 minutes at toys'r'us with nat holding a giant balloon to eat icecream. Then tingzhang wanted to eat katong laksa and so they did. Then they came back and got owned by fatigue.

I'm not lying! Today was seriously such a happening day.

AND NAOMI THANK YOUUUU FOR THE LIFEROCKS!BOOK. COUSIN YOU ROCK :D

Sometimes these remaining seventeen days seem as if they are essentially the most comfortable days of my life. But I just hate to admit that they've been comfortable. I want my normal school life back I want the 28ths back! Gah all in good time.

Alright saturday looms ahead tomorrow.
The rest (of the day) is (for) HISTORY :D

Not any chance

2008-09-02T23:58:00.002+08:00

The past two days have been really productive - been studying the whole day and I've covered a great deal of topics. As long as I keep going at this rate then I'd be making the best of it! Got to keep the pace and just keep going, and it'll all get better as time goes along.

The huge stream of photos from the nike human race has arrived on facebook and haha I just reaffirmed myself once again that sunday was seriously such a fun happy day :D And the race results are released on the website too! I clocked 58.23 minutes, ranked 1345th in singapore and 80000+ in the world out of 1 million. Haha yay considering I subbed the hour without much training I'm quite - no, very happy! with the run! And what's best was that I didn't stop and just kept going. Shall run more after promos!

EX-TRACKERS YO! Ready at the startline!

Raffles all the way! Haha I think we were so hyper and happy throughout the whole afternoon that the same nike photographer who took lots of jumpshots for us in the afternoon before the run came back to us for a second round of photo-taking! This rocks :D

AND HAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS ONE. After council GM2 tingzhang spun me around like crazy and I almost had my head collide against one of the metal chair arms or something, according to the rest of the councillors there. Eventually tingzhang got too dizzy and he dropped me and I was too dizzy to move anywhere else so there we lay, feeling owned like nobody's business. This is super crazy!

Alright now, ready for another day of study.

The Day The World Stopped To Run

2008-08-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

The Day The World Stopped To Run.

Was a really really great day! It started off with studying with tingzhang, zhixian, isaac, nat, chenyang and amelia at raffles city starbucks which got me considerably far into math :D

Tingzhang scolded me for buying STEAMED MILK in starbucks. Eh what's wrong la NO COFFEE ON RACE DAY OKAY.

It was quite funny at first when zhixian came in the morning in her race shirt, the one with the number tag on it. Then tingzhang and i went around creating analogies of how it was quite a funny thing to do:
1. It's similar to how your promos exam paper starts at 3pm but you're in the classroom at 9am with your pens and pencils and paper all laid out nicely and you're there shouting I'M READY MAN.
2. It's similar to how you have a track race at 5pm but you're walking into the MRT train at 7am with your spikes on and you're already wearing a jersey and running shorts.
3. It's similar to how the nike run starts at 4.15pm but at a time like 11am you're there at the starting line with a nice runner's poise, ready to run.

Okay zhixian got quite annoyed BUT NO OKAY IT'S QUITE COOL LAH.

Then nat arrived and we realized that she bought durians for isaac but it really started to stink the area -.- so hoho got a big scolding when he arrived and eventually they all ran around eating durians outside :D

And yes so we studied and studied. And eventually we left for lunch around sometime past noon! Soon lots and lots of councillors and friends arrived and we left for the race venue!

And after that I deposited my bag, so no more photos haha.

It was a rather interesting race - considering I haven't really trained for ages and ages, this seemed like a huge challenge to me in terms of holding out and surviving the whole long distance. I do sprints and so I tend to go quite fast at the start and try to hold out towards the end, but due to a lot of bottlenecks during the run I wasn't really able to cover much distance in a short time at the start!

Then slowly and gradually we ran from the esplanade bridge to the edges of marina bay and back again to the esplanade bridge. By that time I was feeling quite fresh and wondering if it's possibly because I'm running with all my friends, that I'm feeling so relaxed by the end of this 10km run. But no I was just deceiving myself - we took a turn from the esplanade bridge and into the pavements near the singapore river and boat quay areas!

And I passed by really familiar and memorable places like raffles place and boat quay, including the really confusing mall CENTRAL and the 90-step stairway to the train station hahah. By then I was really dying like a mad dog. My left leg was numbing up for some funny reason so I had to drag it along occasionally which put a lot of strain on my right leg. And not to mention, there were loads of deceiving endpoints. Like halfway along the boat quay stretch there was this giant patch of a big red wall, and I mistook it for the endpoint so I did some sprintamajig and died just there and then.

Eventually I finished the 10k in 61 minutes. Hahah I'm satisfied, considering that there were many bottlenecks, and I haven't been training much too. But the most bugger thing which happened was that my right leg somehow gave way to the old injuries - it swelled quite a bit even though I couldn't have possibly sprained it, and I pulled my muscles. Tingzhang reckons it's the last stretch sprint but oh well it left me limping for a few hours! And I had to walk around like a snail ):

But it was fun :D The concert rocked, especially those bits where they threw ipod nanos freely into the audience and got us all high and excited. It's quite sad ah considering how we only got high from the ipod nanos. Singapore's true culture hahaha but never mind we did get high all the same! AND JAPHETH CAUGHT AN IPOD NANO YAYYYY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A COUNCIL NANO SOON!

And we left for dinner shortly afterwards - we ate at Shokudo, my first time there and omg this is like the best eating place I've ever seen. We stayed till quite late and we got a little high so we took lots of photos!

NAT ROCKS! She is a bugger who barley-bombed me and took away my watermelon drink but no she is a life-saver!

TINGZHANGGG thanks for helping me so much with the pulled muscle and everything else. I owe you lots and lots! Life-saver :D

Boss and hoho!

Reliving the concert moments. Wahhh I love 28ths we rock we rock :D

Today's such a nice day, and a really good way to ease ourselves into a huge mugging lock-down! Ahhh we should seriously have more of these cool stuff :D I LOVE TODAY. I LOVE 28THS.

Okay. Huge lockdown with math and econs tomorrow. This is it.

Academy Award-winning brain rewiring

2008-08-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

This week has been a really crazy week for a lot of people! But thankfully we've tided over it - really well too - and now what lies ahead is just unbothered studying and more studying.

On thursday night we celebrated paul's birthday! In the form of a very very nice dinner at crystal jade hahah and there was a huge spread which was super super delicious! Unfortunately I had to leave early and I only had ten minutes to gobble down a giant bowl of porridge. Thanks zhemin for stirring the giant bowl furiously so that all the heat would dissipate! :D

Paul and Sharon with their chopstick antics!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL :D I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR HUMAN BIRTHDAY CARD! Hahaha :D

TEACHERS' DAY was just super awesome. On that day itself everyone fell into a relaxed mood and it was quite a fun happy day! Plus we were all geared up for the Academy Awards :D Everything from the start to the end was cool la! Even the funny AV power trips didn't really matter :D WELL DONE TDAY COMM Y'ALL ARE FANTASTIC!

The ushers serving peanuts to the teachers, waiting to spring into action outside the MPH. Shiyang is a champion!

Up close with The golden man :D

After teachers' day celebrations we wanted to go back over to RI (just a bridge away, thankfully!) but sadly the teachers all left for teachers' day lunch on buses and we were half an hour late so we missed them. I joined 4K'07 for lunch :D

In that one hour spent at cafe cartel, we brought back 2 years' worth of memories as one class, and 4 whole awesome years' worth of memories as RI boys - from the moment we sat down at cartel we went back to acting like how we used to behave, and it seriously got quite funny and memorable. Like our king ruiyong standing up and down on the sofa and waving his arms frantically at the waiter which reminded us of his champion higher chinese prelims incident where he stood up on his chair among 450 students and yelled at the invigilator because she forgot to collect our scripts.

Then fu zhihao asked 'eh those who are in math remedial raise your hands' THEN HAHA MOST OF US RAISED OUR HANDS. This is simply 4K la okay we aren't really proud of our mathematical failures but this is classic! Then pingfang walked by and she said 'oh so you're from this class!' Like totally haha this rocks.

I'm going to turn in. The nike human race is tomorrow! And council's running together this is so exciting!

0803960, part of the 1 million runners across the world, on The Day The World Stopped To Run. I can't wait :D

No more excuses

2008-08-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

Because.

And, just because.

Enough excuses, enough explanations for what's going all wrong and not going my way. Enough living in anything less than utmost tenacity and persistence. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to make every single moment count. Nothing less than of my very best, I seem to keep forgetting that. Shall keep it in mind forever and ever now - really need it.

I will make the best of it. No distractions, no hindrances, no self-imposed burdens, now.

Weak

2008-08-22T23:36:00.001+08:00

Council GM 2 ended today.
Mega Mugging Madness ended today.
Teachers' Day Awards voting ended today.
Council blocks out tomorrow.

So here's to the first quarter of the 28ths' council term (:

I've had my fair share of ups and downs, improving in some areas, experiencing a disappointing lack in others. Well I guess it's all too natural, just that perhaps maybe I need a bit more of that internal strength and persistence I had last year in RI, wherever that came from. Just a bit more focus, just a bit more persistence, and a little more calm, and I know I'll be on my way.

I want to run free too. Sometimes the fact that I'm totally not running nowadays makes me go mad; I feel like a I'm a big blob of fat and apart from that I get all squirmy inside and everything just doesn't feel right. Part of the past needs to be retained right here; I want to be able to return to the track like a second home every evening, and run until my legs give in and I know I've given my best. Thinking about my training sessions a year ago, 3x300m sprints every single training did seem like hell, but hell yeah those were the best days ever, knowing that with every session you're one step closer to achieving what you never thought you would even inch close to.

Haha I want to pop by the track tomorrow and run until my legs explode or something. But no sigh PW calls for extreme and desperate aid, and my cough shows no signs of recovering. What's more, if anyone thinks I've been looking rather funny these two days, that's because my eyelid has swelled rather inexplicably and it's pressing against my eye so I look like I've been punched. So I guess I won't be able to run freeeee anytime soon!

Yes okay it very alarmingly appears that there's only about 4 weeks left to the promos, or essentially just thirty days from tomorrow onwards. This is not going anywhere like I've expected it to be, but no way am I giving in. This calls for a lockdown - and enough talking, just start working, whether I like it or not.

Maybe reality itself proves to be too much a cynic for the hopeful, but things were never meant to fall into place!

Rally for a cause

2008-08-18T00:42:00.003+08:00

I just got back from the national day prime minister's rally - was quite a good talk, with quite a bit of humour, loads of interesting talking points and pertinent issues! Plus I had good company (with sharidan, a cj councillor who's an ex-SJI guy and he started telling me all about the SJI guys who went to RJ hahah) and overall, a rather good time.

Going to turn in soon to nurse the rest of the horrible coughing away. Just that something is really disturbing. If we're all in this together, why are some of us disappearing. It naturally happens, they all say. But there's no excuse why it should happen. Why are we giving ourselves excuses for it to happen anyway? Well nevertheless, full effort from me and I won't back down!

Keep going everyone! Study really hard. And 28ths all of us hang in thereeee and we'll all make it through this final week!

The promos are only 6 weeks away, scary isn't it. It's really starting to get daunting and intimidating. But the challenge lies in looking at it straight in the eye and saying "I'll conquer you."

Yes I will.

Bolterdash

2008-08-16T22:54:00.006+08:00

Before I turn in, this calls for an urgent post!

MONSTER BOLT CLOCKED NINE POINT SIX NINE THIS IS GONE MAD.

What's more he slowed down past 70m! I swear in a year or two he'd be subbing 9.6 or something. He is some freak of human nature he's TWENTY-ONE. That's like 4 years older than me! I feel like some weakling! The silver medalist was a clean 0.2 seconds away he only clocked 9.89. This is really really mad. Asafa Powell totally flopped it sigh. Must have been the pressure.

This is pure craziness. Ahhh 9.69.

I salute Bolt. And I salute tingzhang's personal message!
"Phelps may have 6 WR but that's because Bolt was banned from running on water."

Okay I need to recover from my cough. More math tomorrow!

When Time Can't Stop

2008-08-14T22:21:00.003+08:00

WHEN TIME CAN'T STOP

They say time fades, grows some hands
when your eyes steal a glance of glow.
These hands pick up to form this plan -
what your eyes have told you so.

Mind for mind the frost does beg,
'Hold your sights and sounds back if you may.'
Heart for heart the warmth does spread
to grasp this, takes root; it stays.

A pavement to tread, a choice instead;
but a choice to turn to the sole.
For the warmth begets a tightened thread,
woven till time crawls slow.

Choice to leave, I can't live.
I should live; no way to leave.
Well enough may these flames last
for they are a prize, not another task.

For we smile, simply.

Can't think of anything else I'd rather do.

2008-08-12T11:55:00.000+08:00

Today's been another great peaceful day, I'm glad - stayed really focussed through lessons all the way, ran a comfortable 4km after lessons as planned, and so far in two evenings I've completed about 4 essays! I just have to keep this momentum going.

But there's so much more to this normal everyday whirl; I seem to be limiting myself to how much I accomplish per day, and while that has proved to be really satisfying over the past few days, things won't stop at this. Sooner or later I'll have to face all the incoming lecture tests which I need to start preparing for, and yes sooner or later the promos will rear its ugly head. Oh yes today we received our promos exam schedules and it's quite funny to have Lit Paper One on thursday, then break for three days across a very pseudo-stressful-but-still-stressful weekend to have Lit Paper Two on monday! Gah lit students cannot relax across the weekend nooo.

But that's okay. Let's all pull along fine now and really soon we'll pick up the pace, and we'll all get it right. It's a matter of time.

Doesn't Griffles just make your day smile when he leaves his 7 Eleven Super Big Gulp in the storeroom, laments about it, and points funny gestures at you whenever you try to snap some crazy photo of him! HAHA TINGZHANG IS THE BOMB. CHEER UP OKAY TINGZHANG!

And here's a small group of us who had quite a bit of fun with O'Comm meeting and lunch yesterday!

KEEP GOING EVERYONE WE WILL ALL GET THERE, SOMEWHERE, DEFINITELY.

Minutes past midnight

2008-08-12T00:36:00.001+08:00

WOW!!

Okay hahaha that was random! :D

Just a few words before I turn in and await lessons later this morning!

This looong four-day national day holiday was quite mad; I got ambushed by my parents many times to catch movies and as such, this is the craziest movie-watching rate I've been at! 4 movies over 3 days now that's quite some life. But unfortunately yes at the sad and sorry expense of my work and my MUCH NEEDED SLEEP but that's okay!

I've hence watched (in chronological order) The Dark Knight (which is a crazily awesome movie, one of the best I've seen because of all the dark references everywhere, and yes the Joker's insightful sayings), The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (which is really nice too because of the nice chinese spinoff!), Money No Enough 2 (which is quite funny but also quite stressful because it's really not peaceful to see people getting all horribly poor), and Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (a very pleasant adventure and nice movie to end this crazy movie spree!)

Today was a rather pleasant day too! Spent the entire day in school with O'Comm meeting in the morning, then a rather nice lunch together with O'Comm at J8 and then the rest of the afternoon was spent in the council canteen hammering away at my history term paper with chenyang. We went to run 4k after that entire afternoon of reading and typing and I must say THAT I'M REALLY NOT AS YOUNG AS I USED TO BE D: but thanks siaseewhy for pushing me on! Shall run a 4k tomorrow too. Will slowly work towards getting faster all over again.

And yes this is a really happy morning for I have finished two history essays HOORAY.

Alright I'm high and I'm going to pack up and turn in!

43verstruck!

2008-08-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

Yay yesterday was wonderful - rj celebrated national day with 43VER 2008 :D

Undoubtedly and most certainly, this celebration was the best of all the natday celebrations I've experienced throughout my entire life. The actual NDPs don't even come close! With all your friends around you, and thousands of people all squeezed into a pretty cosy venue singing and partying into the night, nothing will ever come close :D

Hahah it was seriously so so fun! Especially when it was in huge contrast to what we were expecting, because of the heavy rain and disappointing weather. Originally we had planned for it to be an outdoor concert, and we had gotten a stage and a crazily pro sound system set up on the field, ready for everyone to rock into the night; but because of the downpour which happened just right before we wanted to start the concert, we had to move the concert into the hall.

But yes as many said, it was a disguised blessing for the excitement of thousands of us was contained in that very small hall which we thought could never fit more than a cohort into it! And everyone went high went we released the lightsticks and giant beachballs - together with great emcees and great performances, it was just perfect. I'm just really really glad it went so much better than how we thought it'd turn out.

And I'm really really glad to be part of the organizing team for nat day - knowing that we have the capability to pull off such a crazily high event such as this, I couldn't have asked for a better function committee :D WELL DONE NDOT! WELL DONE TAMMY AND RAJEEV YOU GUYS ARE THE BOMB FOR HOLDING OUT STRONG TILL THE END! And yes hahah i'm officially 43verstruck and the 43ver won't subside until a long while later :D

And what do you know, BAYLEY WADDLE'S OVERALL CHAMPIONS FOR 2008. CLEAN STREAK SINCE RI OKAY LET'S GO YELLOWWWWW BAYLEY WADDLE FTW!

Photos, photos! Here they are!

Rajeev and tingzhang after hanging up the lift landing banner. We've gone crazy.

This, is the stage which we've spent a huge huge bomb on but failed to use it due to the horrible rain, but NO WORRIES WE HAD IT BETTER IN THE HALL!

A very colourful morning assembly! Thanks paul for helping me take the photo!

Griffles caught the 43ver too! Hahah yay I think the whole publicity concept went very well :D

And yes, 43verish tingzhang under all those uh, feathers!

NIGHT CONCERT - STREET DANCERS ROCK!

The high hasn't left me even when today's been just a deadslack day! It's been really dreary and weary due to yesterday's last rush of energy before I went home and collapsed into utter dreamless sleep and waking up few hours later feeling very happy hahah. Well it's thanks to every single person who attended nat day - you've contributed to the high and you've contributed to the fun. THANK YOU!

43VER 2008. Spontaneous, exhilarating, fun; Brilliant.
I've caught the 43ver, yes including the real thing in the midsts of planning hahah!

Okay now, fully on to today. It's been one of those lazy days again but I guess it happens for a reason. Soon I'll spring back into action after having had my portion of rest. And today left me some space to open up my mind too, and I realize that these days have left me pretty uptight and wanting to shoot the stars a tad too much, to the point that I trip over and I've become less of what I am. But no, that won't happen! A huge strong reminder to myself; to stay focussed and happy for what I've gone through; live for the moment, act for the future, because of your duty to the past.

Nothing less than of your very best, now. I'll never forget that, anywhere.

Incompetence

2008-08-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

Well it wasn't exactly a better day from the lazy sunday.

Today concluded day two of IHC track and well I had to run in the 400m finals and 4x100m heats - both which I eventually did quite badly for. For the 400m I guess I was the only BWian left in the finals so what I figured I could possibly run faster a little to do BW some justice but well I guess I couldn't in the end - came in sixth.

But that didn't really matter because I was lucky enough to get into the finals anyway, considering I haven't been training and what I've been lately is just some blob of fat or something.

The worst thing about today was that I let the legend team down - the team that was supposedly said to be able to win the relays for BW because it totally swept Bayley interhouse relays for the past few years - Jerome Tom Ding and me. Today it was almost the same, with jerome tom me and andre (who eventually saved our entire race in the end by catching up so much) but I let the team down because I couldn't recover in time for the 4x100m, after having run 400m.

And so my starting was really wobbly and all the lactic was a pure hindrance la and well I think we did quite badly because of me! I'm really really sorry team. But anyway I guess lots of other BWians made up for these losses, like imba Jerome who got 4th for 800m despite having sprained his ankle, and CHAMPION FOR HIGH JUMP. And chloe who easily trounced the 200m race and despite doing triple jump for the first time, won the gold! So yeah I guess BW did do quite well.

All the wayy we're just this close to securing the title. And well for the track, I guess it's a stern reminder that after all, I haven't trained in quite a while and this is just essentially what I rightfully deserve. Not that it's a punishment or anything, but it's a matter of choices - what I really want to do in RJ, and what I have to give up as a result of it.

It's all down to the point of choice. But well sometimes when your best isn't even good enough, you know you have to take flight elsewhere. I don't like incompetence; I hate it even more when it stems from myself, but well maybe this isn't really about underperformance but it just reflects the path I took. No worries, up and on we go (:

I miss those days where I could run strongly and ever so quickly. Most of all I miss it when I could run free.

Onward, and no looking back!

Feeling like a fool but I do anyway

2008-08-03T23:53:00.001+08:00

This is some crazy day - a while ago it was just 10am in the morning and now look what time it is! Another one of those days where time just races past despite having so many things to complete. Gah things are not going good with draining focus and crazy fatigue! But no worries at all; NAT DAY CELEBS ARE THIS WEEK AND THEY WILL ROCK :D

I haven't posted since a week ago! So here are the many many things that have been happening!

IHC has been a blast so far, with most of the sports kicking in this week with touch rugby, volleyball, floorball, track and lots others! BAYLEY WADDLE STILL REIGNS (we broke the hundred point barrier haha!) SO YAY ROCK ON BW!

This, according to ziyao's fanclubbers, is the best photo on the IHC photoboard!

Tough rugby IHC! Which BW got first for! BW all the wayyy!

Volleyball IHC which BW got first for too!

Our wonderfully nice banner hung at the best spot in the canteen! BW CHAMPIONS FOR THE WINN.

Haha and of course the champion photo of the entire IHC season:
Okay this was originally banned by boss so I shall make it a little smaller!

HAHA boss ah this was endorsed by vinna! Don't blame me!

And yes about track IHC: I rushed down for 400m heats after a long day of lessons which ended at 4.10pm, and then proceeded to warm up and do the usual before any race. Over the past few days, I've been training every single day in hopes of me possibly having some semblance of a comeback but I figured that it'd be quite a miracle if it happened and I ran 56 seconds on my first 400m run since last year's july.

So yeah eventually I finished the round in one minute flat. Which seriously is quite horrible given that I used to do so much better, but well the nature of my work has changed from running and sprinting around to sitting on a couch and typing on a laptop so that extra 4 seconds had to appear somewhere! Anyway I was seriously quite surprised when tiankai first told me that I came in as the 8th qualifier. Tomorrow's the finals! Shall attempt to break the minute.

Yes apart from IHC, NATIONAL DAY IS ARRIVING!

Well that banner certainly took us a wholeee lot of effort to put up; at some point rajeev the giant almost fell out of the window and many councillors saw him dangling from the window ledge so they all scrambled to the fourth floor of the D block in front of the parade square to help him out! Thanks to all who helped! (:

FRIDAY - on friday night, the 27th and 28th councillors went to Yelin's house for P.I.M.P. (or Post Mega Invest Party)! It's considerably late, given that investiture was on 13th May last term, but well it was fun enough :D

Tingzhang and I dipped our feet into the pool and talked all evening before joining the rest for more eating and a lot of karaoke. Mingay is a really really pro rapper, I think we all got to realize that!

SATURDAY - Had a last-minute training in the morning at 7.30am upon knowing that I somehow made it into 400m finals! Which made me feel worse considering my 300m timing has dropped like crazy since those days where I used to run 3x300m intervals every training! But never mind, all in good time, will make it through for BW!

Then I went for scholarship day exhibition, and hung around the SAF booths and decided to learn a little more. Didn't really learn a lot for there've been so many scholarship exhibitions around, but anyway I'm pretty much bent on the SAF somewhat! Maybe I might change my mind, who knows, but for now it's where I see myself going!

Flipping open the air force booklet, this section reads:

Hahaha well that's if I've done very well for my A levels! Need to study harddd.

National Day Workday started after lunch and there we were having fun, painting banners, hanging banners, drawing, cutting, everything! We did a wonderful merlion banner and a giant chessboard, among the many we painted :D

And there's peng who accidentally painted his banner wrongly so for a moment it read 'THE 43VER CAN'T BE STOP' HAHAHA! He sent the whole council laughing with that!

In the evening I went to the Singapore flyer haha! I didn't realize it was actually a shopping complex, apart from the actual flyer!

We intended to catch the national day parade fireworks from the flyer itself at 8pm, but apparently we were a little too late! For the moment we stepped into the capsule, the fireworks started going off and all we could do was to snap photos of the fireworks blocked by loads and loads of metal. But eventually we did get to see some fireworks rather nicely :D

Here're some photos, showing the fireworks and an aerial view of the singapore landscape as we went higher and higher!

That was about it! Spent a really nice hearty dinner at Changing Attitudes at marina square till about ten plus before we started to head home. And I really didn't like this sunday - tomorrow will be better!

Where are we in this syincosystem

2008-07-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

I've returned a few hours ago from SYINConnect 2008, and even though it was a one-day conference, I think i took away three days' worth of stuff out of this very single day!

Things were pretty interesting the moment I reached republic polytechnic; being a volunteer meant that I had to be there at 7am early in the morning! And plus I had to take another workshop group, and it was about sanitation. And soon I realized that Mr Jack Sim would be speaking in the sanitation workshop and well it wasn't disappointing at all in any bit - Mr Jack Sim is a brilliant speaker with brilliant ideas. Actually all the speakers I've listened to today were brilliant - the best line of speakers any conference could have!

Really interesting - new insights here and there with thought-provoking speeches and plenaries. This wasn't just a talkshow conference where the whole day ended with nothing much learnt and absorbed. This was Relevant, where young budding social changemakers and accomplished social workers all came together to share their perspectives and insights. This sounds like an advertisement but nooooo seriously! :D

And at the ideas noticeboard today, I stumbled across this, and it really made a lot of sense:

Very true, no? Make sure everyone is important to you! Then you won't lose sight of every single person who's been responsible for who you are and what you live for, today.

Well, on the other stuff which has happened over the past week, STARTING WITH IHC!

This week marked the start of the 2008 IHC sports season, and well it's been really exciting, of course especially with BW at the top still, 'tis a sign we're going nowhere but up! ALL THE WAY BAYLEY WADDLEEE!

Check out the CCAD megastructure - it's the coolest thing around seriously, making the canteen area look like a mini times square thing! Of course with the champion house at the top, things can't get any cooler eh :D

Banners have been hung as well and this is the first time ever that IHC's become so major. This is fantasticccc.

BW Banner Week continued over these few days, working on claire chew's masterpiece - I say BW has the best artists, and generally the best people around!

IHC Record-Breaking Games was a little section of the IHC opening day whereby anyone could drop by to break a small record or two! Here we have darts and fastest smser - together with a very unique and quirky sms text template!

And of course, with fun random things happening like this intense game of Hodge Lodge table tennis between merrill and slau. Was seriously totally craziness as the balls kept flying about. But it was super funny! But yes remember; no more table tennis in the lodge!

AND WOW THE COMMZD NOTICEBOARD IS A BOMB :D

This following week will only get more happening! But of course yesss I have to settle my awesomely tedious history term paper by this weekend. Keep going everyone!

People speed by faster than time does

2008-07-22T22:51:00.001+08:00

It's seriously been quite a while since i've last posted! Gah.

But no worries; today i happily finished two essay outlines in one hour so all this efficiency has allowed me to post, finally! Loads (AND REALLY LOADS) of stuff have been happening over the past week, and what's more, IHC SPORTS SEASON 2008 WILL START TOMORROW :D

Expect loads of fun over these few weeks leading up to national day celebrations! Many many sports and games to play and IF YOU'RE A BAYLEY WADDLEAN, PLEASE GO PLAY SOMETHING! I bet your bottom dollar we're going to win this year's championship. We'd better!! BW has the best people we can possibly ask for and now this is the time we come together and show everyone what we're made of!

Watch out for us tomorrow, for we'll be the brightest, shiniest, gloriously the first.

Hmm now on to previous happenings. This is really late but yes this year's swim finals was the best finals Raffles could possibly have! ROYAL FLUSH CLEAN SWEEP OF SIX TITLES HAHA NOW WE'RE REALLY TALKING. What's more i think some of us were worried that with jiahao and tzekang absent from the nationals because of their international swim races, we would have a tough time, but no! Things turned out the smoothest they could in the end!

Tingzhang in the griffles suit again. He was so so glad that Griffles made it to the straits times! And he really did a good job out there dancing away in the heat and high of the Raffles victory!

Let's all hope next year's another clean sweep for us eh? :D

Two saturdays ago some of us attended the 2008 UNAS seminar; it got a little dry at times but pretty much quite an insightful session in the end! Of course it ended with pretty much of a bang when the RJC team with Anish and Darren in it took home the gold :D Congrats guys!

Last monday, after a huge day jampacked with meetings, I finally managed to find my way to the esplanade just in time to catch ruiling and her band J.RED play at the concourse. It's seriously really crazily cool la to be able to perform publicly like this! And they pulled it off very well, with Jon Ho's thumps on his bass guitar during his solo because his guitar wasn't working properly. And from what I heard he played twinkle twinkle little star in between too hahaha they're all super pro!

LAST WEDNESDAY - TRACK FINALS! Sadly this year I arrived at the stadium not as a runner, but that's okay because all the trackers are there and I was happily there to remember what I've kept so close to for the past 4 years! And RJC GUYS TOOK HOME THE GOLD THIS IS SUCH A HAPPY THING.

I can never forget the line of colourful streaming banners from various schools draped across the line of houses opposite the stadium! Every single year, it never changes.

I can never forget Kong's wonderful Rafflesian hairdo!

I can never forget waving our giant motherbanner about at the final prize presentation!

I'll never forget all these defining moments when our flag is high up there, untouched anywhere.

Last week ended with a really crazy friday+saturday with meetings filling up every single meeting from the time my lessons ended! But yay I've survived successfully and now this week is going to cruise through strongly and we're all making things happen. It was really really fun especially when O'Comm went for dinner before going to xiangying's house to finalize the list of O'Teamers!

Splendid sights like Chengwen here reliving his childhood. Fantastically classic!

There we have it :D wonderful wonderful week it was. And sometimes the best thing which we can all do is to just appreciate our lives and feel good for the present. I am a 28th, and I have less than a year to do whatever I want to do for Raffles, and less than a year really sounds scary, just like how it sounded really scary when we were all sec 4 and we realized that our time was up, back then. This will not end in regret but will end in contentment, and will end in passion.

Keep things simple and bright, that's how I'm going to live it! The rain will always fall but if we all stick together like car panes they won't hit us at all! Doesn't make sense haha but yes.

Jiayou everyone, AND BAYLEY WADDLE FOR THE WIN TOMORROW AND BEYOND!

2008-07-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

TOO USUAL A BATTLE

Turn of pages, turn of faces, turn of highs and lows,
Fast steps to heavy drags but never reduced to slow.
Gasped breath, weary eyes.
Release of sighs, tears dry.

Stare out a window, stare past triumphs and struggles,
Looking to a sky, full of bright clouds settled.
Wind blows, lasting thoughts.
Gales die, mettle sought.

List these points, list these lessons in mind,
No other fear, not even one left behind.
Too usual a battle, what is new.
We're all angled, what's askew?

These are times of our very own

2008-07-10T23:23:00.003+08:00

This week, everyone has been fighting their own battles everywhere.

We've fought through our CT results, we've fought through tough times where we've felt so tired. We've fought through our competitions and we've fought through both triumphs and setbacks. We've fought through our personal struggles and we've fought the rough tides.

I guess if there's anything we can say to ourselves, that is to set aside the results, set aside the outcomes, set aside the verdicts. From a horrible score on your CT paper to a six-title royal flush for the Raffles swim team, set them all aside and tell ourselves that no matter what has happened through this week, we have fought a good fight and we have emerged stronger.

Even in the weakest of times, this is where we know we are at our weakest, and sometimes it really doesn't seem that bad after all. We know we're somewhere, and we'll definitely get there. Not to worry everyone (:

I really want to thank all my friends who've been there all throughout this week, esp tingzhang naomi paul zhixian tammy and loads others too. We'll all make it through together!

After a long day's worth of work, here I am typing away staring bleakly at the screen, and here I come to realize that council's been really great and fun so far.
BUT HEY WHY AREN'T I ON THE TRACK TRAINING WHEN TRACK FINALS ARE A WEEK AWAYYY. I miss track ever since I left, and I will always remember it for the 4+ years of grit and tenacity everyone's shown.

RAFFLES TRACKERS ALL THE BEST. LEAVE OTHERS IN YOUR DUST! I'm behind you guys all the wayyy!

Maybe it's true

2008-07-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

This week was simply one of the greatest weeks ever, especially since the CTs have just ended, and the results are not entirely out yet! So we're resting nicely in between this empty space, with a comfortable lesson pace and comfortable workload. And plus I've been, thankfully, really productive lately and I've completed loads of stuff! So yay. Except for today though; this lazy sunday just turned out to be a horrible disaster, but well I've finished loads of stuff earlier so it shouldn't be too bad!

One of the highlights of this week: MY FIRST WELFARE DUTY :D

Welfare duty is so so so fun because there's karaoke to sing, Wii games to play, cool cool friends to clown around with, and well everyone's there and things get really high haha! My first welfare duty was a huge blast!

Here's tiankai singing away - he declared mondays to be karaoke days, so if anyone's free you should be able to find him at the Hodge Lodge! And he's really pro! I tried singing but macey like totally owned me with her great singing voice ahhh hahaha. I mean it! Macey sings super super well! All the great singers in rj should like congregate and serenade the school once in a while or something.

Here's a softball game on the Wii! I think chenyang was playing at that time haha. I hammered a few rounds of tennis before that. Wii tennis is really crazy because if you strike at the correct angles you'll send the ball flying in directions which the opponent cannot hit at all!

And then I returned to nat day meeting after welfare duty. Nat Day is going to be a huge blast, nothing like your primary school or sec school national day celebrations! This is be a true CELEBRATION, in every sense of the word :D Expect lots and lots, and most importantly just await the unexpected!

And yes yesterday I finally realized that it's been weeks since my old wallet's zip fell off and random parts started falling off so I managed to get a new one! The wooden-feel billabong I've been eyeing so long ago :D

NAT'S BIRTHDAY IS GOING TO END IN ONE MINUTE'S TIME. A FINAL HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAT!

And yup a wonderfully nice (and hopefully hardworking) youth day tomorrow :D

We are not amused.

2008-07-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today was the peak of Victoria Regina - literature festival 2008, and well I had a rather fun time at the amphitheatre after school with the playlets, really amazing costume ball and the class bazaars! Shall just let the photos do most of the talking.

09A01C's booth sold only orange juice but really nice juice, with a really loud sign! Apparently it's misspelt - I meant for it to be Drink Me! with an exclamation mark at the end but the cut-out words got swapped around so it looked pretty interesting haha. You can see where the exclamation mark went!

The very very wonderful costume ball :D

And of course, this post's not complete without Kenneth Wee in his (or rather, her) flamboyant costume! Complete with jiawei's suaveness!

After an afternoon of meetings and a little studying, I sat down in the council canteen to listen in on an interesting discussion between tingzhang and jiahao. And with junhao going on and on about how CCAD discussions are always peaceful and friendly, it was quite a funny sight!

And then they took out the giant Raffles flag banner to fold up - the very same one I've seen hanging at the side of the Choa Chu Kang stadium every single year of track nationals :D and woah i never got this close to the banner!

That was all for today - pretty much very productive and rather pleasant. But I'm tired so off I go.

Wondrously sometimes we fail to notice that things are too simple to be comprehended simply by people in our busy and crazy lives, to the point that we see pricks as nightmares and trips as crashes.

But well anyway in the spirit of the Victorian age and for the love of literature this week - 'Oh but you can't help that,' said the cat;

'We're all mad here.'

Point Me Where?

2008-06-30T23:56:00.002+08:00

And we're back to a normal school life today. Literature festival has started, and everyone please go to the museum and take a tour around the rooms, or buy litfest merchandise, or just come on down to the amphitheatre after school to watch the playlets! I guarantee you they'll be fun :D

Especially the costume ball party and classes' bazaar which is happening on wednesday! Watch out for them too. Well today was another peaceful monday, with a bit of the morning spent working on the litfest boards!

Signboard of the merchandise booth. Do go check it out!

And well yes lessons were pretty good today - I'm all refreshed and ready to take on the new term, except for the fact that now our mondays aren't really that relaxed anymore! We don't have a break in between and we have four lessons in a row oh man.

But no worries everything's evened out pretty nicely. The rest of the day was spent hammering on my laptop in the council canteen and I finished everything for the day hurray this is a rather comforting achievement! :D

Onward to tomorrow. And yes I signed up for SYINConnect 2008. YOU SHOULD TOO!

http://syinc.org/syinconnect/index.php

Better be what you want.

2008-06-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

Many things are going to happen.

In a few minutes' time, the real term 3 is going to start, finally now that the CTs are over! And I promise myself that it'll turn out right, as long as I keep going strong and never back down on the focus.

In a few hours' time, the Euro finals are going to start. But I'm not watching, sadly! BUT YAY I'M ALL FOR SPAIN THOUGH. VIVA ESPANA.

All in a few moments' time, all is going to change. Maybe not really drastically, but definitely the pace, the mood, the mentalities are going to take a shift, even if we don't think that it's going to happen anytime soon.

I'm just glad I've made it through this far into rj without slipping up much, and I'm really thankful for wonderful friends who've kept me afloat so far :D

Anyway before turning in, everyone take note! SYINConnect 2008 is going to happen soon and it promises to be a really really great conference in which your ideas are challenged, thoughts are provoked and you gain new friends and learn of new views. you can find out more by clicking on the link below:

http://syinc.org/syinconnect/index.php

Now onward Raffles, we aren't going anywhere but further and up ahead.

The river will keep this friend.

2008-06-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

Nice sunday morningggg. The past three whole days have been tiring - but really fun and relaxing nevertheless, and my mind's really into the post-CT frame of mind and things will just go on from here really nicely!

A short recount - on thursday WE FINISHED LIT AT 3PM AND THERE MARKED THE START OF THE POST-CT FEVER! The 1C people Victor, Ruiling, Kexin, Ros and I went to catch Get Smart at Plaza Singapura - and I really must say that it was the best funny movie I've watched in the last few months. For the entire two hours I was kept laughing and laughing, and even though I was a tad reluctant to go out and destress (as a result of all that mugging momentum heh) I really felt that the movie did what it was supposed to do - remove all that pressure and really let me let my hair down a little (but what hair, seriously hahaha).

We walked around till a little later, watching Kexin shop away for her havaianas and eventually I returned home, tired but relieved from all that mad studying in the past month.

On friday I did a very funny thing - I went to school in the morning to run with chenyang, and unfortunately I'm not as young as I used to be, sigh. I did a few rounds' worth of running, some sprint intervals and the usual PT, leaving me satisfied that I FINALLY managed to get some exercise over this month, but it made me believe that my fitness has dropped this much and I'm going to need a lot of training to get it back to where it was a few months ago!

Then after the bio paper finished the the bio people met their salvation, I desperately tried to fish people and join them for outings in the hope that there'd be free groups who needed company, but yeah well that was a mistake. If not for naomi and her genius niceness I would've left school for home, at 10.30am.

And so yes, I joined Naomi, Zeslene, Japheth, Annabella, Slau for a nice walkaround-town, and they wanted to watch Get Smart so there I was watching it again. It's quite interesting; I can remember all the movies which I've watched twice, both at the cinema! And I know exactly what they are. I watched Van Helsing twice. I watched Casino Royale twice. I watched Step Up 2 twice. I watched Get Smart twice. Less of a novelty than the first time, but always a nice refresher. Plus I guess the jokes in Get Smart stayed fresh still! I love Siegfried's sidekick - he makes the world's best comments abosolutely!

After that, Tue and Yeow Guang arrived too and Tue led us on an expedition to find a nice little cosy Vietnamese cafe next to Raffles Hotel. Things ended soon after and I was there back at home resting away out of all that fatigue.

AND TODAY, THE 28TH OF JUNE, IS 28THS DAY. HAPPY 28THS DAY, TWENTY-EIGHTHS! :D :D

After O'comm and CCAD meeting we all went to ECP and we had a day's worth of running about, charades, cycling, randoming, frisbeeing, including a really lethal game of dog-and-bone in which a peeled banana was the bone. Haha really really wonderful day, thanks to all the 28ths and fantaaaastic IW :D

I left around late evening and YES I FINALLY GOT THE NEW SONY ERICSSON C902 YAYYY I've waited for this phone for months already since its supposed news debut around March, I think. Now it's finally arrived in Singapore and there's no way I'm going to miss this phone yay!

Ah these three fun days. I've finally had some time to slow down and wonder, too. And it really gets interesting when we can't help but notice certain things about ourselves. Like how we'd die to live that much, but yet we live just to die, sometimes.

Above all these rushes, slow paces, fears and ecstasies,
we can't help but marvel at this intriguing puzzle of life as it wraps and twists its roads, its corners,
removes the pavements, leaves you on the roads to dodge the cars,
and when you think you've had it all and you're back safely on the streets,
the cars drive up the walls and give you less of those corners you run to hide in.

And at this I come to realize, who needs these corners anyway;
perhaps when one day we learn to step out of these shady spots, we face the sun, let these engines roar at our faces
and somehow this world will see that their noise and pseudo-rational poise doesn't faze us.

I don't need any anchors;
I don't want to be dragged behind by memories of what has gone in directions I don't want to go.
I wish for a clear sky, with no clouds and ever-blowing wind -
for a day that tells me that these convictions hold silence to the mouths of many
who are prepared to dismiss rather than receive.

I don't need to hold on to words that don't see you past one's days.
I don't need to hold onto my fears and doubts,
for fear of forgetting them has made me forget myself.
I am who I want to be, and I am not who I was in the past living minute.

And clear skies will be ahead, I'll make sure of that :D

Onward, onward, no fear now.

LES MISERABLES.

2008-06-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

The first day of term 3 started with econs CT and well I shan't say much about it. It's over! And I consider myself lucky that I didn't lose my head over the questions during the test :D

It's seriously quite a funny thing that whilst I'm trying desperately to finish off my preparations for tomorrow morning's history CT, my brother is sitting next to me learning the ropes of history (he's sec one) and he's telling me that history is a study of mankind where we learn from past mistakes and use these lessons to apply it to the present for a better future ahead.

HAHA IF ONLY HISTORY WAS THIS EASY NOW. OH MY SUNNY DAY, HISTORY IS THE BOMB.

Right now I just wish Stalin, Khrushchev, Wilson, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Fidel Castro, Kim Il-Sung, Syngman Rhee, Ba Maw, U Saw, Aung San, Saya San, Sukarno, Manuel Quezon, Sergio Osmena, Phan Boi Chau, Phan Chu Trinh, Phibun Songkhram, Vajiravudh, Prajadhipok, Chulalongkorn (reminds me of ThaiExpress lunch), and all you historic people can just feel happy, work together in peace, and make my history content history. Then I don't need to remember so much. But ahhh!

Haha two scenarios; either history is in the making tomorrow, or I'm just plain history. Off I go, and KEEP GOING EVERYONE ONLY FOUR DAYS MORE TO GO!

Dropdown on the high

2008-06-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

I made the most fatal mistake of the entire holiday - to stay at home and attempt to study, which really dealt a blow to my productivity! And today being only less than fifty hours away from the CTs, this probably means dire consequences.

But nope, lesson learnt, and I promised myself from the start that I'll make the best of it, and yes I'm definitely going to carry through strong and not give in to any single doubt.

Today, apart from the miserable amount of econs work I did, I just took my mind off things and thought about the point of boundaries. And just at this point of time, there came this question:

"Who decided upon those boundaries anyway?"

True enough, I've set boundaries for myself in different places in many different ways. Some of them are relevant, and some of them are redundant - and the onus is on myself to figure out which to break, and which to respect. I need to be bolder - to step out further, to feel steadier, and to know strongly that whatever I do is backed, and it'll lead me on to who I am and what I'll be.

Onward to so much more (: And COUSIN NAOMI PLEASE TAKE CARE - YOU'll ROCK THE CTS AND EVERYTHING K!

Death be not proud, for I have mugged.

2008-06-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

It's 2 days away from the start of the CTs and well, today's studying was pretty productive - probably out of the pressure anyway, but I managed to finish all my poetry and I hope to finish Othello analysis by tonight.

I guess for a lot of us, it really isn't going too well - but what truly matters is that we make the best of it and not give in to all the pseudo-futility of the situation! As long as we do our best :D

This month of june has been a really peaceful month; I owe that to all the non-stop studying. Of course your life wouldn't be eventful if all you do is to wake up at 7.30am, reach school at 8.30am, study till 6pm, and go home and try to do some work and finally sleep, and the whole cycle goes over and over again. And I'm pretty thankful for the uneventful moments - slow but awkwardly pressing pace of life during this holiday has been quite okay and I've shifted into quite a good momentum!

The people who study with me have made the whole studying frenzy really worthwhile too - thanks to all of you who have either kept silent and focussed or made a racket and cracked everyone up hahaha. These people include jiahao, tammy, penghui, yanhan, hongjie, kevin boo! and SHIYANG HAHA without you I think I'd have found this mugging frenzy a big bore. But fun and leisure aside I really did catch up on a lot of work, and now I have an even better mentality to handle the year ahead, and I'm grateful.

Yes two more days of work and the CTs will start. In 4 days they'll be over and school will go on :D Can't wait! But yes I need to finish as much as I can first. GOOD LUCK EVERYONEEE.

Justification

2008-06-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

Another good day's worth of studying spent in the library! Except that I could've started earlier and covered more content. But well otherwise I think I couldn't have been more focussed.

Of course, when I'm reading history and it just happens to be so much more fascinating than anything science-related (haha especially chemistry which makes me think of fluff and air, sadly - I didn't do very well for it back then!). I did SEA history today and it was the very first time I read my notes down to the smallest detail, and I realized that without reading into my notes, I actually miss out on a lot.

Like on the point about Burma - I didn't realize it was so complicated. Ba Maw, one of Burma's politicians from 1914-1941, was a huge scammer - he adopted an anti-separationist stance for Burma (to be separationist means to be in favour of Burma's separation from India. They were jointly ruled back then) to gain mass public support, especially from the monks and the villagers. After he won the elections with astounding ownage results, he turned against them and adopted his true preferred stance - the separationist view.

Omg what a scammer. Ba Maw is a big fat liar!

But haha I thought that was pretty interesting.

And I read my notes all the way through the afternoon without stopping pretty much, and I guess I enjoyed my studying! Hope I can continue this way; but seriously, I seem to be posting solely about mugging these days and it really is getting quite irritating to come to a blog for relaxation and see people mugging nonstop. But I have been doing nothing other than studying and trying to study so oh well I HOPE THE CTS COME REAL SOON (AFTER I FINISH STUDYING, THAT IS) SO THAT WHEN THEY ARE DONE I CAN GO BACK TO COUNCIL AND ENJOY RJ WITH ALL THE FUN IN THE AIR!

Ok I will turn in early tonight, after I finish just a little bit of math. I think I'm slowly falling sick.

Everyone's Got Talent

2008-06-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

I went to the Esplanade library to study with Kevin Boo today and it was one of my most productive study days over the course of this month - we just silently fought along our subjects and covered them like crazy. I finished 2 econs topics, essay structure and now I can say that I've officially finished the subject in terms of content! Now I just have to rush essays all over :D

It's been a really nice day, I loved the esplanade libary and all that productivity, and Kevin Boo was actually focussing so hard right there beside me, all silent and unwavering haha!

Unfortunately my brain just couldn't get to work after I got home (which usually seems to be the case, sadly) so I couldn't get around to covering more for other subjects. Which is a horrible excuse because there's always the option to sit down nicely, focus and push everything else aside just for the sake of my targets and goals.

No more subconscious excuses. This final week of studying will be the best week of studying I've ever had, and I will make it count even more! No empty words, no starry sky-high tall-order targets - just me sitting down and mugging steady.

Anyway before I turn in and recharge myself for tomorrow, here is a little introduction on this little british boy called George Sampson. He is fourteen this year, and he participated in Britain's Got Talent 2008, and subsequently became the overall champion of the competition.

Here's a video of his semi-finals performance, oh my sunny day he's a really amazing dancer and he's only FOURTEEN omg.

But what appealed to me most wasn't his incredible talent (man I really wish I could dance like that; I'm 17, I do popping and I'm not even halfway there!), nor his triumph in the talent show. It was how he fought his way to get there on that stage, and how he danced as if it was the very last dance of his life.

What happened was that George tried out for Britain's Got Talent 2007 last year and he made it past the auditions really easily, but failed to get into the semi-finals. And over the year he slogged like mad, practising and practising and even going into town to give random public performances right there on the pavements. He did all he did for two things - for the love of dance, and to give his family a better life. And omgg he's only fourteen and he has the determination and grit which lots of full-grown adults can only dream of having.

The other performances were great too - but what made George outshine the rest was the very fact that it cost him so much more than what it cost others to get there on that very stage, and the best thing was that he was willing to take it up and put in everything he's got.

This may be a superficial reality TV programme and this may be superficially from YouTube, but well it's worth drawing strength from something so mundane!

Onward to history tomorrow morning! Turning in.

Consistency is irrelevant

2008-06-10T19:16:00.000+08:00

I just got back from another day of studying in the rj library and I realized that I have about 1.5 weeks left to cover everything and given my pace, I will have problems finishing everything even though I'm twice as productive as last week.

Another few strong reminders to myself, which I dearly have to remember:
- Keep up the consistency and the momentum, just keep going.
- Step up on the tenacity and never let any doubt pass you.
- Expect that nothing remains constant in this environment, and so will your schedule continue to change
- Brace for anything that crops up and step up on your focus and do more per day.
- No whining, just keep working!
- TAKE IT EASY, YES TAKE IT EASY.

After all, this speaks of pace, patience, and practice. Everything will be alright, all in good time, I have to believe that.

And believe in myself too - for I can certainly achieve it despite whatever that I've been put through. Step up on the confidence and strong foundation.

Just like these skies, they're bumpy and they aren't clear but we do appreciate these wonderful mornings when things get a little more interesting than the usual lazy airs.

I have to keep going. And everyone must keep going as well! KEEP AT IT EVERYONEEE.

When I Die, I Will Die Loving You

2008-06-09T08:03:00.000+08:00

It's a really nice morning and I'm almost about to set off for school for another day of intensive studying lest my CTs crash and burn! Well on friday I left for Bintan (again, yes again) on a nice short holiday and I saw things really differently from how I saw them when I was there for the CCAL camp!

It was another one of my mom's random ideas not only to go to Bintan for a holiday, but go to Nirwana Resorts as well, which does happen to be next to Camp Able where all the CCALs camped out in, and so for a while there I didn't get the feeling that it was much of a holiday when I was walking around watching the same python, crocodile, parrots, eagles, in the mini-zoo. But well the resort itself was new, since we weren't allowed into it :D And since I couldn't get a chance to get near the resort during the camp, it was time to explore new ground!

So this is how the resort lobby looks like! Oh pleaseee I guess the teachers really had a good time staying over in the resort instead of in the campsite.

View of the garden which slowly extends out to the beach which we all walked along during the camp, many many times!

This was the swimming pool whom I thought looked very interesting when I looked at it from the beach. Turns out it's pretty cool. There's a pool bar in the middle of the swimming pool and people can just swim up and have a drink!

These two monkeys never stop jiggling and running around!

One of the many delightful breakfasts among the three days I was there. I feel like a complete blob of oil now because I have been feasting for three days straight with buffets and huge meals and whatnot, and sleeping more than ten hours per night, and having not gone to run for the past month. So therefore I WILL RUN TODAY!

This shot was taken in Tanjung Pinang, a little town about an hour's drive away from the resort, and it was quite cool - apparently it's like Singapore in the sixties! And everything there is sooo crazily cheap haha. Except for some shops though - this place has become accustomed to having Singaporeans around so they have tuned their prices to level that of Singapore's.

And I finally realized the myth that a million rupiahs is actually Singapore's few cents. It's no joke. One singapore dollar is equal to about 6000 rupiahs. 250,000 rupiahs is about singapore's $40. And yes, a million rupiahs isn't a few Singaporean cents, glad I finally knew that!

One of the many dingy and old shophouses along the streets of tanjung pinang - you don't really see this side of bintan if you've just been going around the hotels and resorts. Actually I don't really like bintan for the fact that they converted this area of Indonesia into a resort and hotel area for tourists, at the expense of local villagers here. They were driven away and only compensated with a measly sum of money. In exchange for that small sum of money, they lost their main source of income (usually fishing, for they were next to the sea) and they lost their homes, their environment, and had to start from scratch again. I feel bad going there with that thought!

HAHA BUGGY RIDES! Finally I get to sit in one after watching countless buggies drive past me during the CCAL camp. And it's really fun; we spent an hour driving around the resort area exploring all the familiar parts of the resort which I have come across at some point during the camp, especially those which I have covered during the nightwalk and totally didn't realize that it was those exact places. The dark does wonders to your perception of your environment.

CAMP ABLEEE. Oh man I miss this place.

A shot of the very familiar path, with a bit of the mini-zoo!

The sea sports centre! Where we rafted and rafted :D

The kelong restaurant to which we dragonboated but had to stand outside and eat rice packets instead of enjoying the food inside haha!

Plus the very first place we went to after we set foot in Bintan - the holding area. Apparently it's going to be converted into an entertainment centre with bowling, arcades and the usual stuff so well hmm I wonder where our holding area will be next, next year.

But well unfortunately mom found it too boring so we decided to return home prematurely. I spent the rest of my sunday at downtown east catching Kungfu Panda (which is a really awesomely hilarious movie and everyone should catch it to take a break from studying) and feasting away on food again.

Check out the carbonara - or rather, the really wonderful bowl holding it! At Teasire cafe in the new Ehub at downtown east. Plus the flowery lights hanging low from the ceiling.

Well things are getting into momentum and I hope I just make it in time for the exams and everything. Back to work after these few days of rest! :D

Follow the Leader

2008-06-01T23:38:00.001+08:00

HELLO WE'RE INTO JUNE ALREADY!

It's been a really nice Sunday after the CCAL camp, and dozens of meetings every single day into the weekend after the camp itself! This wonderful Sunday today was spent resting and exploring outside and walking around (which I really have done in a very very long time). Plus I caught Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian today and I must say that it was a great movie, considering I haven't watched a movie since 3-4 months ago! Ah I've been living under a rock.

The point about living under a rock is very true; I think I haven't been noticing things happening around me outside RJC pretty much. I still remember I used to observe how Singapore car plate numbers progress, from the 'B' ranges (haha my Dad's car is like SBK because he kept the car plate number all the way to now, across all the changed cars!) to the 'C' ranges to 'D' ranges and so on. The last time I noticed, the new cars around were in the F-G ranges and recently I was shocked that they had entered the 'J' ranges from the last time I observed, and that really sent a strong message to myself that I've been missing out on the world.

I don't know how car plate numbers can be a good measure of how detached I'm from the world, but yes it's a relevant point. I think I'm losing myself in all the blindness of business and even though it brings me great focus to school work and council work, losing this curiosity and losing this sense of the world takes a piece of me away, I would like to think.

So I really want to tell myself - open up, breathe more of the fresh air; That was what the Bintan night skies told me, when I looked up during the many nights of CCAL camp and saw millions of stars staring back at me, a sight which no person from Singapore can remain un-awed at.

Which brings me onto the point about the CCAL camp - Apart from it being a really really wonderful blast, I truly appreciated the camp for bringing back memories and most importantly, the insights I used to have (and I hope I still had) about leadership. It's a horribly cliched term whom people would love to scorn and be cynical about, and there are so many countless sayings and theories about leadership to the point that it has become faded and not discussed about. But it's a key part of life to most people I believe, no matter what they do or where they're at.

I truly am grateful for all the symbolism cleverly crafted into each and every one of the camp activities, like how the Wakatobi land expedition taught me that decisiveness and confidence is a key part of being a person, not just a leader alone. And how the mangrove reforestation, given the seemingly meaningful facade of service to the community, actually taught us how planting our values and staying strong to them would generate a future generation that has a good culture and would allow our CCAs or organizations to go on forevermore. I was really surprised at how much I could learn, and then I realized that I, had started to stop learning.

That came as a shock because I never really imagined that I would actually fall into the trap of the common adult - unwilling to learn and keeping a bleak outlook of life. But actually at that point, I realized that I was slowly progressing towards that stage. And yes, now that I'm aware of that, I will continue to open up and continue exploring.

I will continue being a child - to continue growing, exploring, learning, being optimistic, never losing hope.
I will continue growing up - to become more focussed, keeping a calm mind and always having the tenacity and energy to make things come to fruition.
I will continue keeping this balance - to be the best person I can ever be.

And of course, how can I ever forget that being a person is mainly about being there for other people? That's indeed what makes us human; that distinguishes us from animals and plants, apart from the human being able to rationalize.

Well yes, many many insights gained from the CCAL camp, as a result from all that trekking, jungle-bashing, stretcher-carrying, sea-wading, mangrove-wading, rafting, tent-pitching, cooking on the wet mud, and all the team work. I love group B1! They've been the most awesome group by far. We are all very very different people but this diversity has allowed us to win the Adventure Quest night walk, and win the rafting session. OUR RAFTING ROCKS I TELL YOU! We rafted to the checkpoint in the sea and back to the shore with our shirts all dry :D

And with the camp ending on Germaine's birthday, we decided to celebrate along with her at Swensen's after the camp - and also with a nice big earthquake to end it off :D

The next few days after the CCAL camp were spent meeting, meeting and meeting, to round up all the various council stuffs before blockout ensues and all of us have to be reduced to studying for our CTs which start immediately after the June holidays end. And YESTERDAY, after nat day's workplan meeting which went quite well, I met Shanzhi up and OMG HE GAVE ME THIS - A PRESENT FROM THE STATES!

No no no, he didn't just give me any nice funky adidas dance cap from the States. CHECK THIS OUT OMGGG THANKYOUUU ROBOCOP BOSS HEADBOY!

Hahah let's wait for some time till my hair grows so that when I wear it around, I won't look like I'm trying to cover up my lack of hair now :D The new hair's great and really convenient hahaha!

I stayed in a classroom all day working on my laptop and talking to shanzhi until the security guard chased us out because I overstayed on the booking time for the classroom. So we went to the RIPB room :D And I had a lot of fun there exploring the cupboards and drawers for food and stumbled on a packet of wasabi green peas which I didn't notice that they were wasabi-flavoured so I wasted $1.85 on them and I left them in the room. And I sprayed shanzhi with the Impulse deodorant left lying around in the room and he smelled funny so I left them in the room too. And I left a mark on the whiteboard so here it is!

Plus later that day I managed to get a new pair of sneakers - a pair of Nike Air Prestige's, to replace the really nice but broken Nike Air Force Ones which I used extensively for dance. And these Air Prestiges are hot!

Plus dad and I really needed a nice bag to store our files/papers and a laptop so we got a laptop bag which we could share, a nice Dakine Terminal and yes it's going to be a nice school bag too! Finally, a backpack again after 2 years. I've been using sling bags since ages ago and finally I think I'm getting bored of them.

I realize I miss a lot of things right now:

- I miss drawing every day.
- I miss writing poetry and letting my thoughts flow.
- I miss designing things with the privilege of free time.
- I miss running and sprints. I miss the track a real lot.
- I miss dance and being able to go the studio everyday during the hols.
- I miss hanging out with all my friends, during the december hols and during post-orientation.
- I miss friends whom I've been talking to less.
- I miss the RI days.
- I miss being a small RI boy learning the ropes of life.

But there's really no point in missing things now, for whatever I've gone through has been a good memory and they have paved the way to allow me to be where I am now; the best thing I can do for myself is not to sit in this clear silence and appreciate the good times back then but really step forward and work hard, and enjoy life to the fullest. Then when I grow old and wrinkly and useless, I'd have a whole life of memories to pore over and really feel the joy and youth.

I shan't waste these years, whatever energy I have for now, is for Raffles.
I will continue growing, and being happy, being there for people as much as I can.
Heh okay blockout's starting real soon, in a couple of days so I have to sit down calmly and build a great deal of focus.

Everything I do now, is for a mighty being. Not even daniel chew who has ten awards for RI Founder's Day (haha I thought I might want to put this here, because most people only have one or two awards in their own powerpoint slide but he has a GRAND TOTAL OF NINE ZOMG)

But yes, a mighty being. Three mighty letters that form something bigger than many legends put together:

I'm for Raffles, We're for Raffles!

Salute your Alma Mater

2008-05-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today was, simply, a really long day - I was in school from 7.30am onwards for RI Founder's Day till evening for council workplan! I don't have much photos to show here about anything in particular, but I just want to say a few stuff before I go and recharge myself for the week ahead.

There I was, sitting in the RI albert hong hall, in an rj blazer (and with new hair, to everyone's amazement haha), remembering and going back to those days where I was simply just honoured to even step into the RI campus. I can say that in primary school I didn't entertain much thoughts about studying anywhere near here until I saw for myself what I was going to be in for.

And this choice I made, I will never regret. I feel utterly grateful that I have a chance to be part of this tradition, part of the yearly legacies in these one hundred and eighty-five years of RI's history. Raffles Institution has not only taught me a lot, but has shown me a lot, and given me a lot as well, and I can only stand looking at how far it's come and feel proud to play just a part of it.

Today was my very last Founder's Day, but it was indeed the most meaningful. Despite the sleepy mood I was in, I did not miss out a bit of the tradition that was preserved all these years, especially distinctly in my 4 years in RI itself. I felt that Paul's speech was great - allowing us to remember the various things we've gone through together and making these 4 years seem all too worthwhile.

Haha I realized I've been rambling on and on about RI for the past 3 years, not just this post alone. And I'll never get bored of it. It's been my second home for the past 4 years, and I do agree when all the old rafflesians say that it could very well be the best 4 years of our lives - I can see why, now. Will never forget these times where we were old, but we were still boys, and we ran around all day striving for what we thought was the best thing to do and we stuck to our goals till the very end, not worrying about growing up nor worrying about making mistakes.

We hung around for a while, enjoying our time catching up with teachers, friends, pb mates, and slowly proceeded to council workplan for the rest of the day :D

And I can see where we are going! It's going to be really exciting, tough nevertheless, but really really happening :D We only have a year and we are going to make this year count, I repeat again! This is really going to be exciting!

Monday to Thursday will be CCAL camp and we're going to camp in the jungles of bintan so here we goooo! Will post after that, pretty soon :D

BACKLASH!

2008-05-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

The last post didn't quite turn out right. I was indeed suppose to post the coming weekend since that post on April 23 but turns out I didn't really have the time to do so. Till now. It's Vesak Day and I've just finished a whole day's worth of stuff and it's been really productive :D

But anyway MY BLOG ISN'T DEAD, IT'S BACK AND IT'S NOT GOING TO DIE!

There were loads I stuff which I said I was going to post about, but I guess it's been too long and whatever updates that I was planning to bring is well, rather outdated and dead. Like the B-div Rugby finals where RI faced ACS(I) and lost by a hair - which turned out into a really sad moment for all of us. And the Cross Country finals where our hero ruiyong had another victorious moment, scoring gold for Raffles once again! But yeah these go way back last month and now I can't really say much.

Well I shall just refresh myself on what has happened in the past month and what's happening now. Over these few weeks it's been a gradual progression into council - I'm very sadly no longer a tracker, though I still go for long runs whenever I feel the fats sinking in. I'm very sadly no longer in street dance, though yes I still jerk around very incessantly. I have to keep that down! But yes I guess I'll never lose my passions, no matter where I am; it's just a matter of which one I place focus on for the time being.

And I know that for this final time spent here in Raffles I want to give it my all, no less - nothing's changed from last year till now and it'll continue to be this way! And life in council's been great, from the initial camp, to preparations for our investiture, all the way to now where we're settling in straight and ready to take over fully from the 27ths :D

Here are some pictures showing what's been going on for the past few weeks!

Ah these birthday boys! At the BW 27ths/28ths party :D

A very wonderful wednesday where huge numbers of 28ths got together to finish some decor work for invest. Was really a wonderful time; and I know there's more of these to come very soon! :D

Our really really nice 28ths' batch gift banner for our invest in the works - right now only the emulsion's been applied, but it looks cool from here already :D

Paul and I crashed the RIPB EXCO meeting on Labour Day and here's a random shot taken by uh. Jianxiong I think. Well it was a really early morning! And we were all quirky. But more importantly I'm really glad RIPB has gotten where it is now and it can only go further now :D

After crashing the RIPB EXCO Meeting, there was more invest decor prep! And here are the really really beautiful silver stars, spread out across the floor. Eventually these were stuck onto the hall walls, and they kept falling off like shooting stars haha!

LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL COMPLETED BANNER!

All the way Raffles, in its very essence, with Boss and Cheryl!

2 Infinity and Beyond - Our investiture theme! We 28ths will go on to achieve big things for Raffles; and we'll remain 28ths forever, from this very point where the 95 of us have come together for this one purpose!

All of us, 27ths and 28ths, waiting in LT6 for the actual invest ceremony and wondering what's ahead of us, both the end for the 27ths, and the beginning for the 28ths.

THEN CAME BWINTER OGLYMPICS - THE GRANDEST BW HOUSE EVENT EVER! Here we were, working on the giant amphitheatre banner :D

BWinter OGlympics was a culmination of a few months' worth of effort, which only picked up towards the end really really strongly thanks to the Grace's and Tiankai's really wonderful efforts. I'm really glad that BWinter OGlympics went really successfully - it marked very strongly what our batch of BWians can do, and paved the way for wonderful futures in our term ahead (:

Well this certainly hypes things up a little!

And here, all of us working on the decor for the BWinter OGlympics feeling ever so happy from a long day's worth of hard work :D Well I'm a little too late in posting this, but well do visit bwinteroglympics.blogspot.com if you haven't! I guarantee you 4 videos of fun-filled entertainment!

And well I'm a little tripping over time here - Let's see what happened over the course of that week!

Wednesday 7 May - INVEST
Thursday 8 May - CLASS CAMP
Friday 8 May - CLASS CAMP / BWINTER OGLYMPICS

Ah yes class camp was a really meaningful thing - I'm really glad 09A01C has gotten together even more even though it was a mere 2 days and we only stayed over one night. Now we're together even more and I'm just glad that things have worked out (: of course, over super-fun basha-building, dinner-cooking, bananaboat-kayaking, and toilet cleaning, and trekking up and down pulau ubin! Really really fun time there :D

Now I do realize that I'm having time lapses because I'm not blogging regularly. Hahaha I'll try to blog more frequently! And less in depth but more in frequency, I suppose. Well I'll try my best!

Just one more thing I want to talk about before I end off for the night - the netball finals, RJC vs ACJC. We started off rather deadedly for the fact that there wasn't much hype in watching teams build up points from the beginning. But later I was amazed by what RJC could do.

All of us were screaming our heads off for the netballers as we caught up with ACJC from 8 points behind, to 4 points, to 1 single point, and WE OVERTOOK THEM and RJ just went WILD. Honestly in all my 4 plus years in Raffles I've never had a more exhilarating match support than this, and I was really all high and wild too. ACJC fought back by overtaking us, then RJ overtook them back, and it was a fight to the finish - who would have the advantage in the end would win it all.

And we won by sheer determination and persistence - 51 to 50. At that point when the game ended, I knew nothing of my voice - it was just gone and I was just yelling emptily jumping up and down while the rest of the rj crowd was doing the exact same. It was a level of happiness I can never forget, well at least for the next few years. It was a first impression, and I'm looking forward to more of these happening :D

And HERE IS MY SUNNY TINGZHANG IN THE GRIFFLES SUIT HAHAHA!

And to end off, a scary stare shot by some of us 28ths at the people who were still having their meetings and refusing to go for dinner, yesterday haha! But in the end we all did, and we had a nice meal. And I ran back for college play after dinner - what a really eventful month it's been. I can only expect more yay!

This is really exciting. A year is all I have. I'll make it count.

Hear For You

2008-04-24T12:40:00.000+08:00

I'm definitely not letting this blog go dead! I will post soon - this weekend seems like a good time!

Places I've been to and things I've been doing include going down for a wonderful rugby match in which RI faced off against ACS(I), banner painting, poster-designing, wonderfully fun meetings, rgs rhythmic gym concert, and yes TODAY BEING THE CROSS COUNTRY FINALS WHERE RUIYONG HAS BECOME THE HERO OF THE DAY, YET AGAIN! CONGRATS RUIYONG AND RJ CROSS!

I'll talk about them pretty much in due time! Right now I have GPP due tomorrow, UNAS essay research due tomorrow and my Othello assignment due tomorrow and I've started on none so here I go!