|
It's been another short while since I've blogged. Gahh yesterday was teachers' day celebrations.
I would like to heave a BIG sigh of relief now. The teachers' day celebrations rocked, and went successfully. Everyone enjoyed it. I got spontaneous positive feedback from my classmates, which is quite rare. Haha and I'm just glad to say that all the prefects' contributions, the late hours, the pain and stress all paid off in a matter of 2 hours yesterday. We did it guys, we made it successful and it was really a job well done. Even though I didn't really do much, well as compared to some prefects, we all feel the satisfaction. RIPB shall excel on to greater heights yay.
Well after that I went straight back to primary school and went to see all the teachers. Blah I arrived a tad too early perhaps, way earlier than school dismissal time, hence i was unable to see every teacher. Well probably another time perhaps! Well after that I went to Eugene's house, crapped a few hours away and another 2 hours at Tampines Mall talking and eating. It wasn't a very fruitful day, but I could tell that I really needed a break yesterday. It has done alot of good to me, and now I'm quite at peace with myself, at least physically.
Mentally, it is NOT going well at all. NOT. I'm currently in a little mind-war of my own and I'm soon gonna crack or something. Firstly I've just come back from buying stationary and art supplies and I kinda kena hard from my mom. She was like ranting on and on about me not showing a happy face while with the family, and later the ranting progressed to shouting and then to yelling and screaming and BOOM I just can't take it anymore. Firstly, if I'm not feeling happy THEN WHY SHOULD I SHOW A HAPPY FACE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Then again, if all of you out there are wondering why I'm always unhappy while with the family, it's untrue. There are days where I am cheerful, there are days where I'm not. Well and yet she goes expecting me to be happy all the time. What totally preposterous nonsense. She doesn't have to endure sleep deprivation, having to sleep 3-4 hours every weekday. She doesn't have to do so much work and handle so much stuff cuz she's just a housewife and housework has no strict deadlines. And there she goes wanting to volunteer herself to put up with me.
I might sound immature and childish to put it that way and leave it alone. I know she might be worried about me and ya therefore wanting me to stay happy and stuff but there's one thing she said that really hit me in the head. She went "The whole family has to follow your mood is it. Why can't you just be happier and make life less painful for us." Omfg. What the hell. I don't need to explain further. Should you find me stupid and not understanding and kiddish and immature, then enlighten me on msn or something. Whatever I don't care.
I'm really really unhappy with alot of things now. Everything seems to be falling. The holidays are 2 days away, yes, but it's not really going to be a holiday season at all. In fact I don't think I'll even enjoy the December holidays. Something's just poking at me but I can't figure out what. I'm just getting irritated. Irritated by some people. Irritated by some stuff. Irritated by some events that have happened to me. Irritated by a irritating life. Sometimes I get so angered I just feel like lashing a kick out in someone's face. Then again some things are really not worth doing. In short, I'm just mixed up. Thrown upside-down, spun many times on end, jerked and jolted, terribly revolted, just mixed and messed. AND I'M TIRED.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to continue my life and achieve my dreams. I want to soar beyond everything, but it's just that everything seems rather obsolete right now.
| 
