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I've been too way off my own head these few days. Well everything just seems so blankly grey, pointing at stuff might bring you a few laughs but on top of that, life seriously is stoning. Yeah I still can't believe I actually did that drawing yesterday it wasn't exactly making sense anywhere in the picture.
Still if in any single way you miss the plain confusing and boring abstract posts (which I so totally miss from myself) you would have to make me go all depressed or something. Haha perhaps it's a good sign, that I'm feeling quite alright and all that. Fancy that la haha comparing to my old screwed self over the entire first half of this year.
Maybe the holidays are turning out to be good. Maybe it ain't. But one thing's for sure the holidays are soon to end cos it's the second of June and I haven't touched a single piece of work. Sometimes I wish I'd follow everyone else and go overseas for some study trip or something to occupy myself and not be left alone in Singapore wallowing in loneliness haha. But yes for training's sake I will train and not be irresponsible not to run and give my best for the nationals. No way am I compromising on any single little bit of it.
People say I can't make it. Not when you're too slow to qualify and moreover you've just recovered from your tendon and ligament thingy. Plus now these weird back pains are limiting you more. Haha hey no I'm just gonna run it well. They can make me sit out of nationals cos I'm not good enough that might be true but anyway I was put in and I will do my best to fulfill that task. I might not get it but there's no harm running and praying that the electronic timing stops before I finish and I clock some world record or something. Even then it won't happen. Hahah ok I'm being rubbishy again.
Looking back on this whole semester, well this year is supposed to be a turn from what was going horribly wrong. And it's going down even more. I thought I ought to be thankful for what I was given to be in last year, and now it's like that and ought I be even more thankful? No way no, no thanks for the poisoned days of what was thought to be actually too great to be true.
Have you ever wondered what is it that you really want? Do you want everything? Or are you wanting too much of what you can take or fight for? If you can't take it, allow yourself to take a step back, find out what's been happening, or else just let it go, walk away.
Because you're stronger than this.
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