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Many people would've felt that I'm totally crazy, going for training and running my guts out while having a stupid flu and being a totally sick pig yesterday. But no I didn't die out there on the track, actually I TRAINED THE FLU AWAY haha.
Woke up with a splitting headache this morning and my head was all heavy and giddy even while I was warming up. But eventually my head just unclogged itself and everything felt fine! And soon after I felt pretty okay. Helped the c'div 4x100m team run the first leg and well looking at it, perhaps the big mistake months ago during the ri track finals could've been avoided with just a nice amount of practice and cooperation. Guess I totally overlooked that.
And then while I was resting, I wondered why I actually bothered to feel angry yesterday and why I felt totally screwed. Then I realised, for time again and again, that staying calm, and breaking away from this mess was the best thing to do, and I did. And now I'm quite alright.
We always seem to forget the simplest of things we can possibly do to make ourselves feel better, like stepping out from our circles and looking at it from an overall view, and keeping calm in spite of all the troubles and pains. Though it may seem like we're giving it up, though it may seem stupid to stop fighting at this point, but we know we're going to die doing it cos naturally we aren't the best at everything. So break free, stay out of the blind zone, look at what you've done and think about what you can do.
And the same, ever classic response comes to mind.
"Hey oh man I've been stupid."
You probably can't believe that you were this blind, you can't believe you fought for something you're not clear about. What is it that you really really want? Will you be happy after you actually attain it? Will it spur you on or keep you back? And the best thing while you're in the midsts of all trouble is to relax, relax.
We have our blind times. Now's the time to open our eyes and feel sane, then we can get back to our insanities, to fight for what's worth.
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