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Yesterday after physics lesson I was helping Matthias and his friend do their banner and halfway through it looked quite the classic thing. Haha we'd probably have to do this all over again in rjc for council. Just much harder and tougher.
These days haven't been really well. Returned from overseas, and so many events throw themselves in my face and it takes real long and hard for acceptance and acknowledgment. With people suddenly gone, somehow it just feels emptier. Much emptier. And then again the next wave is coming again and we have to brace and charge through and make the best of what we can do.
Ran about 5km in the morning for training and at 4km I was at 20:10. The first 2km started in a jog and we waited about two minutes at the turnback point in macritchie so yay alot of rest in between but eventually couldn't push as fast. The last km was a little walk-a-jog away from start point and back to start point haha. And after that was simply exhausted.
Oh well the faster things get thrown at you for acceptance the faster we have to react and decide. Sometimes slowing things down to feel through them makes it all the more worse. Maybe we all should pick up something less of a life. Maybe we should just feel it bite and let it go. Or we can always lie on the ground feeling it through and never come back and for whatever that's really out there, we've missed it. Sometimes maybe I shouldn't even talk about this.
It's been 15 years through and through, we're all slowly watching ourselves grow up and we've been in quite a mad world. Through the things we go through and the things we experience we can only tell ourselves we're blessed with the experience, or we're just too sad, plagued by all this. Sometimes we don't even realise how blind we can be until something really happens and we take a look outside our circles and realise how deep we are and how long we've spent living in our own minds.
We fail to realise that every single day passes much to quickly thanks to the blind rush and mad pace, and everything else just whizzes by, failing to catch what's left of our extra attention and we speed through our days wondering why we're doing this, not thinking much and then speeding on again for we know what we would face should we stop and wonder.
Sometimes it's too blind. We all know we're blind. It's whether we're willing to take that chance to open up and see everything for ourselves. We all know too that somehow feeling the movement of things all around us would make us all screwed somehow for the fact that it all gets to the head, and the heart. A lot of us would have been like that once, and now we're of some other kind. Maybe some of us are still open and seeing and feeling too. Which is good in a way.
I don't know. To decide about something is too much of a challenge, at times.
And for all things' worth in the midsts of making these choices we still have to keep up. For if we've decided by some time then we'd realise we're too far back and hence we have to decide at the current point again. Keep up and don't lose track.
It's been rough.
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