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Council retreat ended today, and a few hours ago we returned from Batam back to familiar shores, but as a stronger council.
The retreat came to me in the form of many Realizations. It seemed very much like a three-day getaway at first, but now I'm really just so glad that retreat has happened and things have gone this certain way. Apart from the packed programme and really insanely crazy activities which we managed to plan for, this retreat gave me my own time to admit to myself very honestly how I've been this entire year and what I did right / did wrong. I gave myself a chance to tackle my own shortcomings upfront, leaving myself no leeway to cast them aside for the future. And I'm glad that I had such a chance and I did what I was supposed to do - or rather, supposed to have done.
It has been a tough (yet really really fun) two and a half days, surviving on 4 hours of sleep over two nights and running about on the sand in the sun, but I'm just glad I had the chance. I realized that it was quite pointless to question my frequent doubts about my own passion for council, for I've had it within myself all along. All I simply needed was a bit more conviction, a bit more steadiness and a bit more determination. I truly, really, realized that all the friends that I've been in search of have always been by my side, and they couldn't be any closer.
There we were, on the beach past midnight, feeling the sea breeze and feeling the memories, and I realized that life will always be eager to provide us with an unlimited supply of problems and obstacles, but it's simply and exactly the thing that makes life beautiful.
And it was only during these three days that I realized how fragile and neglected these friendships were. We all came in together with one year's worth of things to do, and little did I realize before that Seven Whole Months have indeed gone by, only five remain. If I'm not going to cherish all these little magical moments and chances, I'm really going to regret it horribly, for these memories and happening people are all that I will have left, after our council term ends.
I got the chance to burn my regrets for this year away in a fire, and I got the chance to have my new year wishes kept in a glass bottle and thrown into the open sea for it to reach the shores someday; I couldn't have asked for more. It was a tough time thinking about what wishes I would like to make for the new year - there were so many things I hoped for, so many things I wanted to do, but ultimately I made my own true wish and I'm glad that I've made it: I ask not for a lighter load, but for a stronger back.
Ahhhhhhhhhh I never want this to end. It's really so wonderful.
Anyway, it's 10.14pm now! Less than two hours before this year passes by and 2009 begins; it's going way too fast, seriously. This morning I woke up in Batam after a 2-hour rest, and upon the realization that this day was The Last Day Of The Year, it came down on me quite hard and I was freaking out in my mind, because I was just not ready to welcome the new year into my life. There's simply so much I need to complete before 2008 comes to a real close.
But there's no need to worry. It will be a good year no matter what. And I will be stronger!
Happy new year everyone (:
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