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It's quite funny how everytime I return to this place with full of things in my head to type out, only to face this page with an empty head and blank thought. A lot of times I'm thinking to myself - eh dude it's nearing the second half of the year where all your 16 years of education and 18 years spent on this earth are kind of going to have to pay off, so where's all the results?! Ah well, just got to keep going, keep swimming, keep pulling along till it all ends.
Maybe I've been a bit too blind, out of fear that everything might come crashing down on me, and taking me to task at the end of the year, to the point that I've been gradually shutting out so many things around me. I've made lots and lots of mistakes - more gravely those at the start of this year, where I thought I really should stay out of trouble's way, when I've actually walked straight down this path of stumbling blocks.
Get up, get strong, get back fast, I tell myself, but it requires a whole lot more than just blind grit and headless determination. I realize there's really no point bull-charging into every single challenge and wishing that you'll strike gold when all you've done is probably run into a deceiving piece of red cloth.
There's no point plain wishing for things to fall into place too. What I really need is loads of inner peace, clarity, steadiness, no lack of tenacity - it gets lofty, but it's really simply what's required to make everything turn out right. Appreciate what's around you, cherish these memories, let them make you stronger and a more complete person. At the same time, just don't give up. It's that simple.
All these moments of magic will eventually become nothing but little faint recounts in your memory - and that thought is really quite scary, now.



Press on for what's worth.

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