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I'm tired. At this point of time it does seem that I'm really not going to finish all that I have to complete before the CTs start, and this feeling of imminent implosion is rather unsettling.
Gah no way, this isn't over until I say it is.
I've really, really got to make this work, and take back what I've missed, and lost out on. This CT has seriously got to work out. This final week, give everything and anything - no distractions, keep a clear mind, keep a clear purpose. After next week I'll probably find myself again and pick up from there.
To make these pressures, these heights less unforgiving, you have to be unforgiving to yourself. If everyday you have to learn the hard way, so be it. I seem like I'm blowing things out of proportion, but this has never really felt so coldly real.
With all hope and faith.
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